Hello Stranger
by OopsieDaizy
Summary: She offered him a place to stay when he needed it, and had been kind throughout their friendship. Being human could be difficult at times, but Castiel was starting to believe that maybe, as long as she was there, it wouldn't be so bad. In fact, he very well might grow to love his new life and humanity.
1. Chapter 1

_**I wanted to write a Castiel/human story, and after last nights episode decided to do it finally :D Reviews appreciated!**_

* * *

It was becoming more and more apparent to him that living by the alias of "Steve" was somewhat uncomfortable. He couldn't seem to adjust, no matter how hard he tried. It would have been much simpler if he was able to use his real name, but that of course would bring about a multitude of problems. Still, he was actually enjoying his job as a Sales Associate, and as he watched the customers and tried to pick up pointers on being more "human" he felt as though he was accomplishing it- Although somewhat awkwardly.

But after a quick glance at the clock on the wall, Castiel felt his steps falter. It was almost time.

She came in everyday, usually around the same time- Would purchase the same items over and over again. A bottle of coke, and a chocolate bar. If his Manager Nora was in the front of the store, she would chatter with her for a few minutes. They appeared to be friends Castiel figured, and even though he had never spoken to the girl himself, he knew her name was Hope- Was quiet and seemed to be shy, but was remarkably kind. According to what Nora had told him, she worked at an Animal Rescue during the weekends, and volunteered at a Soup kitchen three times a week. The rest of the time she donated funds to charities. Apparently she came from a wealthy family and had inherited a hefty sum of money after her parents were killed in an automobile accident.

Castiel made sure to position himself behind the cash register, just as he did everyday- And when she finally entered the doors he felt himself blatantly gawking.

It wasn't the fact that she was actually very pretty, with long sandy brown hair or striking green eyes that always forced him to stare like she were a piece of meat and he a hungry animal- It was the fact that there was something in her eyes that felt very familiar. Even though it was impossible he felt as though he had known her sometime in the past. He watched her walk back to the cooler and grab her usual bottle of coke, before she approached the counter and lied it down.

For a moment he felt himself trying to count the dusting of freckles that traced across the bridge of her nose and apples of her cheeks, but once he noticed her arching a brow at him he quickly rang up her purchase.

"How are you today, Steve?" She asked, just as she did everyday.

And just as _he _did everyday, he fumbled awkwardly and gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm doing well, thank you."

She gave half a smile and lightly twisted the coke bottle in her hands. "Is Nora here today? She called me earlier and said she needed to talk to me?"

Now the words seemed to catch in his throat. Their conversations usually consisted of "How are you" and "Have a nice day", but now she had bombarded him with something new. It actually frightened him slightly at how Hope had the ability of making his mind go blank.

"Uh," He garbled. "Yes, I believe she's in the store room. I'll go get her."

She nodded her thanks and watched him shuffle his way to the back and disappear. He returned seconds later with his Manager in tow and as soon as she saw the girl she quickly pulled her into a corner.

Castiel observed as discreetly as possible from his position at the register, as he rang up an elderly man who bought a pack of menthols. Judging by both womens expressions, whatever they were talking about seemed to be distressing. Nora looked ready to cry at any second, and Hope put a comforting hand on her shoulder, nodding "yes" to whatever it was she was asking. After a few minutes alone Nora suddenly waved him over. He quickly made his way to the corner where they stood, trying his best to resist counting the freckles on Hope yet again.

"Steve-" Nora started. "I'm going to be going out of town for about a week, my Father had a heart attack. Normally I would have asked you if you could watch the place while I'm gone, but it's just too much for one guy to handle, ya know?" Castiel only nodded slightly. "So I asked if Hope would come in and give you a hand while I'm gone, and she said yes."

Cas shifted his eyes to the girl who was now gawking at him, feeling himself go noticeably stiff. A week? How was he to manage conversing with her for a week if he could barely utter "Hello" to her?

"Oh, of course," He nodded, taring his eyes from her. "I understand. I'm sorry to hear about your Father."

Nora just barely flinched a small smile. "Ok, well, you're gonna have to show her the ropes around here. Help her out a little since she's new, so..." She stopped and pulled the a key from her vest pocket, handing it to Hope. "She said she'll start now, I wanted to get the next flight out, so..."

"Of course." He repeated.

Nora murmured something about boxes of travel snacks that needed to be stocked before grabbing her car keys and jacket. Cas watched her leave the shop with his stomach twisted in knots, as he stood awkwardly beside Hope who seemed to be just as uncomfortable with the situation as he was.

"Well," She said, breaking the silence. "I guess you're stuck with me for a week, huh?"

He felt his eyes go wide as his mind had yet again gone blank. He was halfway convinced someone was playing a cruel joke on him to purposely enter his mind and wipe away all traces of thoughts and responses. But he needed to say something, he couldn't stand there like a slack jawed imbecile or else she would think he was rude, or maybe just incompetent.

"I'm sure I'll manage somehow." He retorted, having meant for that to be some kind of joke- But his monotone and gravelly voice made it appear sincere.

Luckily though she didn't seem to take it seriously, and only gave a quiet laugh.

"So where do I start?"

* * *

Somehow by a miracle he was certain, he managed to say more than two words to her the entire day. In fact, he would even go as far as to say that they held a decent conversation, even if it was mainly one sided. He found that he would merely listen to her, and nod every now and then. He found her voice interesting, for some odd reason- And still he was convinced that he knew her somehow. Which of course, he tried to tell himself, was impossible.

By the end of the day, and once it had quieted down, they both sat at the counter staring at the now empty shop.

"Is it always this slow after dark?" She asked.

He nodded, sipping awkwardly at his coffee. "Yes, generally the busiest time of day is early in the afternoon."

She rested her head in her hands, letting out a quiet sigh. "So, any plans after work?"

He shifted on the stool he sat on. "No, I don't believe so."

"Me either." She replied dully. "What kinda things do you like to do on your free time?"

Yet again his eyes went wide as he tried to pull a response out of thin air. How could he tell her that he had no hobbies? And that he never did anything other than work, and sleep in the storeroom in the back? That as far as his life went was working, and trying to avoid being killed by the fallen angels? And of course trying to adjust to being human.

"I'm afraid I'm not that interesting," He finally said. "I don't have many hobbies."

"Me either," She repeated. "I'm probably the most boring person you'd meet."

His eyes just barely flicked towards her. "I find that very hard to believe."

"Oh believe me, it's true. I mean, how many women do you know that are my age that would rather sit at home and read a book, over going out and having fun, huh?" She shrugged. "I guess I'm not the type of person that goes out to clubs or bars, I'm more the quiet type."

"What sort of books interest you?" He asked, then practically cheered for having thought of an actual question to ask.

"Anything really. Even the awful ones. It's nice to get lost in a world that's not real, ya know?"

He had to admit to himself that that indeed did sound pleasant- At least in those worlds he wouldn't have been hunted mercilessly.

"What reason would you have to avoid _this_ world?"

She peered at him for a moment before shrugging and returning her attention to the doors. "Everyone needs a break from reality every once in a while."

Her tone had gone sullen, and he couldn't help but think that she seemed unhappy. He wanted to ask her why, but that would be an inappropriate question.

"So, where are you from?" She asked, changing the subject. "You're not from Idaho, right?"

"No, I'm not."

"Did you move here alone, or do you have a family?"

He took another sip of coffee. "I'm alone."

"Same here." She tapped her fingertips on the counter, then glanced at the clock. "It's about time to close up, right?"

Castiel hadn't even noticed it was near closing time, instantly he began to panic.

"I can close up, Hope." He said, sliding off the stool. "You can go on home if you'd like."

"Are you sure? I don't mind helping?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not difficult. I can do it."

He hoped that she wouldn't insist on staying, because then he wouldn't be able to lock up and retreat to the storeroom where he kept his sleeping bag. He had managed to avoid being caught so far, but that was only because he was the only one that was here this late- He always closed the mini mart up and locked its doors. No one knew that he simply didn't leave before actually doing so.

"Ok, if you're sure." She jumped off her stool. "I'll see you in the morning, Steve."

He waved and tried to give a smile, but it was stiff and forced. That, he told himself, would have to be the next thing he practiced. Smiling really shouldn't have been such a trying feat.

* * *

Hope had searched her entire house, her coat pockets, and her car- Realizing that she had somehow lost her phone. After a backtrack of her day, she remembered sitting it on the shelf in the storeroom at the mini mart. It was late, 2:30 in the morning to be exact, and she didn't exactly want to drive all the way back to get it, but the OCD side of her wouldn't be able to sleep unless she went and retrieved it.

So after grabbing her keys and making the ten minute drive, she pulled to a stop in the dark parking lot. The lights inside were off of course, Steve would have closed shop hours ago and gone home. Thankfully Nora had given her a key to the place, and she wouldn't mind if she went inside long enough to get her phone.

She unlocked the door and stepped inside, shuddering slightly from the darkness and quiet. It unnerved her, for reasons unknown- But it had been that way since she was a child. There was something about the dark that spooked her, to the point she actually had to sleep with a TV on, or some other form of light source. But, she shook that away and started back for the store room, creaking open the door.

For a moment she stopped dead in her tracks, almost letting out a shriek until she realized it _wasn't_ a dead body lying on the floor, but Steve. He was wrapped up in a sleeping bag, sound asleep. Her brows furrowed at the site, it never would have dawned on her that he hadn't a place to go home to. But, in a way it explained things a little. He was always there at the mini mart, she had never seen him anywhere else and this town wasn't exactly large. He was there first thing in the morning, and there at night to close up. It also explained why exactly he was so insistent on being the one to close up, he practically shooed her out of the place.

She contemplated waking him, but didn't- Instead she grabbed her phone and left just as quickly as she came, making sure to lock the door behind her.

When morning came, and she arrived back to the mini mart he was already up and stocking shelves.

This, she thought, was probably the craziest thing she would ever do, but- He seemed like a nice guy, and being the type of person she was she couldn't stand around and do nothing when someone was suffering. No, he wasn't sleeping on the streets in the cold, and he certainly didn't appear to be starving, but- She did know that if Nora were to find out about this, she very well might sack the poor guy and then where would he be? So, with a sigh she approached the shelf where he was arranging a variety of candy and said.

"Morning, Steve."

He jumped slightly, almost as though he had forgotten she'd be there.

"Oh, good morning." He replied quietly, swallowing a good three times over.

"Listen," She said, shrugging. "I wanted to ask you something. I was wondering if maybe you knew of someone that might be needing a place to stay? You see, I got this house, it's only two bedrooms but it's pretty decent, and the rent's cheap. I had a roommate a few months ago but he moved out, and well... I was looking for someone to take his place. You... Don't know of anyone, do you?"

Cas almost dropped the bags of candy in his hands, and his eyes shifted back and forth.

"A roommate?"

"Yeah, I was thinkin of putting an add up on the bulletin board, but thought I'd ask if you knew of anyone before I did. Like I said, the rent's actually pretty damn cheap. My landlord is this sweet old lady, and she didn't want to charge an arm and a leg. It's a nice place, actually. On a quiet street, two bathrooms." She paused, smiling slightly. "Know anyone?"

Hope noticed him crinkle the bags of candy nervously in his hands before croaking out.

"Uh... I might know of someone."

"Really? Awesome, is it a friend of yours?"

He shook his head. "Actually, no. Well, it's myself. You see, the apartment I'm staying at now is rather small, and there's quite a few issues with the plumbing. I was thinking of moving out."

She nodded, and gave half a smile. "Oh, ok- That's cool. So, how about after your shift's over you come and take a look at the place. If you like it, then the room's yours... Sound good?"

He nodded and returned a smile. "Alright, that's fine... Thank you, Hope."

"No problem. I just hope you like the place, ya never know. You might hate it."

She turned and left him standing awkwardly with the candy in his hands. Honestly, he wouldn't have minded if it was a rat infested hovel, as long as it meant he wouldn't have to sleep in the storeroom any longer and risk being caught. Besides, Hope definitely was a nice young woman and if he could get to know her a little better, that wouldn't have been so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

_**So I originally intended for this story to go one way, but then decided I wanted it to be full of cute fluffy goodness, which will happen eventually. :D As always reviews appreciated.**_

* * *

Castiel stared down at the address jotted down on a post-it note, then moved his eyes to the house just up the sidewalk. This was the place, obviously- Only he was feeling his nerves get the better of him. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say or do. It was different at the Gas 'n' Sip- Those conversations generally surrounded things that had to do with work, so it wouldn't have been too awkward for him. This, though- This had his stomach twisting into tight knots. What if, for some reason, she decided that she wouldn't want him as a roommate? He hadn't adjusted as greatly as he would have liked as far as being human goes- There was still so much that he didn't understand. He worried he might say something that would upset her, or hurt her feelings. He had a tendency at times to blurt out things that came off as insensitive, even though he didn't intend it.

Maybe... Maybe he should call Dean for a little advice? No, he quickly shook that thought away. Dean was his friend, yes- But Dean also had a knack for saying highly inappropriate things. The only women he ever conversed with were what Sam had referred to as "One night stands".

He knew that if he stood there long enough then he might just startle himself into not ringing the doorbell. Whether it would be uncomfortable or not, he needed to find a place to stay- And even though it might have been wiser to live on his own, somehow he couldn't find it in him to actually do it. He was lonely, had been on his own for months now. And even if Hope made the words vanish from his mind, at least it would be comforting to know that he wasn't alone any longer. So, with that he shoved the post-it note in his pocket and approached the front door.

The house was small but what he figured would be considered "quaint". It was white washed brick with pale blue window shutters, and surrounded by trees. He glanced over his shoulder noticing it a decent length away from the street, which itself was eerily silent. It seemed like a relatively safe area, and he didn't believe any fallen angels would track him down there. It was inconspicuous, it wasn't anything flashy or noticeable- Which is what he needed.

After he rang the doorbell, he took a step back and shifted slightly on his feet. Several long seconds passed and she hadn't opened the door.

Was he early? He could have sworn she asked him to stop by after his shift was over. Which is what he did, he quickly locked up and made the walk through town until reaching her street- Not stopping for even a second. Honestly he was exhausted by now, he had been on his feet all day and hadn't the chance to stop and eat a little bit of something. The weekends always brought in a crowd at the mini mart, and even if Hope had been there giving him a hand she wasn't trained to use the register.

His thoughts cut off when the front door suddenly swung open and Hope greeted him with a smile.

"Sorry, I didn't hear the doorbell right off." She said, then waved him over. "Come on in."

He wanted to say something, but couldn't push any words out. Instead, he gave his own stiff smile and stepped inside.

First thoughts when he let his eyes trail across the house were that he was incredibly lucky that she even thought to offer him a room. It wasn't anything fancy, not at all, but it was calming. There were hard wood floors in the living room, leading down a hallway and two three closed doors. The kitchen was just off the living room, separated by a bar where long legged chairs lined. The furniture looked inviting, with thick plush cushions on the sofa and an array of throw pillows.

"Ok, so." She said, pointing to the room they stood in. "This is the living room obviously, it's not super big but it's homey right?" He nodded slightly. "Tv," She pointed to the flat screen pushed against the wall on an entertainment center, then she started walking. "Kitchen... There's a dishwasher which is awesome, no dish pan hands. And the landlady just had a new stove installed." Now she moved down the hallway and Cas followed meekly. "And, this would be your room."

She pushed the door open and stepped aside so he could take a peak. He fidgeted slightly before taking a step inside.

How could something so simple and small be so utterly and completely perfect, he thought. Just as the rest of the house it wasn't anything fancy, but it was comfortable. The bed was small but inviting, he halfway wanted to fall face first onto and go to sleep already he was so exhausted. A dark stained dresser was against the opposite wall, where a small box tv sat on top.

"There's a closet in there too, so it's not just the dresser." She said, lightly pushing her way past to the closet door. "It's not huge, mind you, but it's a little extra space anyways.

As far as he was concerned she didn't have to try and convince him any longer. He never wanted to leave this place, he would be content and happy just sleeping in the closet if he had to.

"I suppose I should inquire of the monthly rent?" He finally asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, your half would be about 250, like I said this place is really cheap."

Of course she was lying about that, but she didn't want him to know it. In all honesty his half really would have been around five hundred, but she didn't think he could afford that, especially since he was living at the mini mart.

Cas actually heaved a sigh of relief. So it wasn't out of his price range, thankfully.

"Ok, well lemme show you the rest, huh?" She smiled and left the room and he quickly followed to the third door in the hallway. "This would be your bathroom." She said now, opening the door. "Linen closet's by the bathtub, oh- And the washer and dryer is in the basement, which you get to by a door in the kitchen." She stopped just by the kitchen. "Do you have any questions at all?"

He thought for a moment and seemed to be bombarded out of no where by a million questions.

"Are there any stipulations to my being your roommate?"

She thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Not really, only that I'm kind of a neat freak and like to keep things clean. You're welcome to anything in the kitchen, but if there's anything that you might want that's not there you could pick it up at the store... Um..." She tapped her fingertips on the counter. "This would be your place too so you can do pretty much anything you want, as long as it's not illegal."

She had meant that to be a joke, but Cas ever the clueless one took it as serious. "I can assure you that I wouldn't partake in any illegal activities."

Hope snickered and nodded. "Ok, good to know. Oh, I nearly forgot to show you the best thing about this place." She waved for him to follow yet again, and they walked through the kitchen and to the backdoor. "Fenced in backyard, a vegetable garden, and of course patio furniture, which if you ask me is the best place to read."

Castiel blinked a few times over before muttering. "This place is a paradise."

"Well I don't know if I would go that far, but yeah... It's pretty nice. So... Whatcha think? You interested in the room?"

Cas nodded, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. "Of course. If that's alright with you?"

"Yeah, I mean- I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't alright. Besides, I'd rather it be someone I know, over a stranger. Don't wanna take the risk of a serial killer moving in, ya know?"

"Well I'm definitely _not _a serial killer." He took in the view from the backyard once more.

"So, yes? You wanna move in?"

"Yes, I think I would like that."

For once he smiled and it didn't come off as forced and stiff, she returned one and then left the kitchen. "Ok, so when's the soonest you can get your stuff moved in?"

And then Cas froze uncomfortably in the doorway- Because he didn't have any belongings other than his sleeping bag and the clothes on his back.

Hope noticed his uneasiness and nearly cussed at herself for not remembering that the poor guy had been homeless.

"Or, was the apartment you were living in furnished? Cause if that's the case then you wouldn't have anything to bring with you?" She quickly added.

His widened eyes finally returned to normal and he nodded. "Yes, that's it exactly. And, since I had recently moved into town I didn't have many belongings to begin with."

"Right, well... Since that's the case I guess you'll be moving in right now, huh?" She motioned towards the couch. "Make yourself at home. I was actually gonna order a pizza for dinner, that sound ok?"

Could he have been dreaming? He halfway had the urge to pinch himself awake, at least that's what he thought people did when they believed they were dreaming. But if this wasn't reality, if he was merely sleeping in that storeroom, he hoped that he would never wake up.

* * *

The week Hope had been working with him flitted away far too quickly for his liking. But, it's not as though he would never see her, because every night he would return to his new home and there she would be. As strange as it all still was, he couldn't help but think that coming home to a friendly smile and nice conversation was pleasant. It certainly was better than being alone. During the nights after he had returned from the mini mart they would spend their time watching TV, or discussing anything and everything. It didn't even have to be an important topic and he would find himself getting lost in the sound of her voice. Often at times he would drift off in his own mind, completely entranced and enthralled over how she had issues with a certain animal at the shelter, or a car had cut her off on the street. It didn't matter what it was she said, Hope was terribly fascinating.

Just as always, he felt himself staring blankly as she chattered on about her day, all the while she checked something that had been roasting in the oven. He halfway wondered exactly how long this could continue on- It was only a matter of time before an angel would discover his whereabouts. And then he would be forced to leave. That thought had suddenly stricken him stiff and frozen. That thought was unbearable. He couldn't leave now, not now that he had finally found a place that felt like home. Not now that he had found someone he could talk to. In the past he had Sam and Dean, but... That had changed after Dean asked him to leave the bunker. How could he simply leave Hope behind and never speak with her again?

"So," She tore through his daydream, and he was relieved to have those retched thoughts vanish once again. "You've been living here for over a week, Steve- And still I don't know much about you."

His eyes shifted across the bar where he sat. "There really isn't much to tell, Hope. As I told you before I'm not that interesting."

"That's your opinion, not mine." She smiled and clicked the oven up a few notches. "Really I'll take anything. Maybe a last name?" She chuckled. "I don't even know your last name, Steve."

"Oh..." He tried to pull a name out of thin air, just as he did with any response he gave her. It seemed that whatever name he had given Nora when he applied for his job seemed to flit away with the breeze. "Well it's... Novak."

She nodded and turned back to the oven and he rolled his eyes at the name he spat out. Jimmy Novak certainly wouldn't appreciate that.

"Ok, well that's one question answered." She replied, then sat down across from him. "What else can you tell me?"

"I-I'm not certain. What would you like to know?"

She shrugged, and he found himself gawking at the way she twirled her hair on the end of her finger. "I don't know. I guess that's up to you. I mean, if you're gonna be living here then it's only natural that we know a little about each other, right?"

"I suppose so," He sighed. "I would like to know more about you as well."

He hoped she wouldn't be angry about that. He didn't want to come off as intrusive.

"Alright, let's see-" She thought for a moment. "Well, I was born in Kansas but grew up in Indiana. My parents names were George and Fiona Gray, I don't have any siblings but do have a few cousins. I don't really keep in contact with any of my family though, we were never close."

"I know the feeling." He barely murmured, which caused her to arch a brow.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing... Please continue."

She rested her head on her hand, as her green eyes trailed upwards at the ceiling in thought. Yet again Castiel felt himself staring to the point it would come off as "creepy".

"My parents died in a car crash about six years ago," She went on. "After that I didn't want to stay in Indiana anymore, so I packed up my car and started driving. Somehow I ended up here and I just stayed. And... I guess that's about it. See... Boring, I'm boring."

"No," He breathed out. "You're far from boring."

He watched her lips barely flinch into a small smile, and for an instant he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss them. After that thought had entered his mind, he was taken aback- Wondering where in the world it even came from. That was completely inappropriate. Hope was his friend, he shouldn't have thought something like that about his friend.

"Your turn." She announced.

Cas nodded, trying to find a way to say something about himself that wasn't a complete lie, but wasn't the complete truth either.

"Well, I come from a large family with many siblings, but... We had a falling out and we don't speak." He took a sip of his coffee hoping that would be enough.

"I'm sorry, familys can be a bitch sometimes." She replied.

"Yes, exactly." He lowered his cup back to the counter and let out a sigh. "I have two friends, their names are Sam and Dean, and if I'm to be honest- They've been more of a family to me than my own family. They're actually from Kansas as well."

"Do you get to see them very often?"

"Unfortunately no. Their professions keep them busy..." He paused as his eyes shifted. "It's a family business."

When the oven timer dinged she slid out of her chair. "Well, maybe you can have them come visit sometime?"

"It's a possibility."

No it wasn't but he couldn't tell her that. Sam and Dean wouldn't come for a visit, at least he didn't think they would. After all, Dean had asked him to leave the bunker because his presence brought danger to them. He highly doubted that they would want to come and spend time with him now.

"Ok, dinner's ready." Hope said. "I'm not promising it'll be good. I got the recipe online, so we'll see I guess."

After he had served himself what appeared to be chicken and potatoes, he followed Hope to the sofa which is where they usually ate their dinner. She seemed to like to watch television as she ate, and he didn't mind it much either. He took his first bite and afterwards had to stifle back the urge to inhale it all.

"This is the best thing I've eaten in a very, _very _long time." He said, smiling.

"Really?" She scrunched her brows. "It's just chicken and potatoes?"

He didn't seem to hear her as he stuffed his cheek full.

"You act like you've never eaten a home cooked meal before." She chuckled.

He stopped, and swallowed his bite after barely chewing. She didn't know that in fact, he hadn't ever had a home cooked meal.

"Well, it feels as though I haven't in forever." He replied.

"I guess I should stop ordering pizza and take out so much and start cooking more."

"I haven't had food that wasn't microwaved in months." He retorted.

"Ok, then that settles it. I'll start cooking more."

She figured that in the time he had been living at the mini mart that his meals consisted of frozen burritos, taquitos and nachos. Definitely not a way for a grown man to be eating, it was a wonder he hadn't made himself sick.

A few hours later the kitchen was cleaned and they were yet again camped out in front of the TV. Cas merely stared at the screen with his eyes squinted, as a particularly stressful moment was happening on the show they had been watching.

"What!" Hope suddenly screeched, causing Cas to jump. "Oh my god, did you just see that? It was... I don't know what it was."

"It looked like a demon." Cas replied, then afterwards going stiff.

"Wouldn't surprise me," She snorted. "I mean, these peoples plane crashed on this weird island, and now there's this black smoke monster thing that kills people? What the hell!" She huffed out a breath of air. "Not to mention that apparently there's these weirdo freaks that don't age and there's a strange power, and polar bears on a tropical island? Seriously? Something tells me this isn't gonna end well."

"What is this program?" He asked, curious.

"Lost." She answered. "I heard it was good from a friend at work, so I thought I'd give it a shot." Now she wrapped her blanket around her tightly. "This show is awesome. We're seriously gonna have to have a marathon one day, since all of the seasons are on Netflix."

He felt himself smile slightly at how excited she seemed to get over something so minimal.

"I believe my friend Dean would enjoy this show as well. It seems like something he would become engrossed in."

"Then your friend is cool." She chuckled, then pointed to the screen in a panic. "Oh, oh! Jack's seeing his dead Father again."

They must not have salted and burned his remains, Cas thought- But then shook that thought away. This was a television show, not real life.

He found that he watched her reactions more than the show, her eyes were transfixed on the screen and if what she described was a "creepy" moment happened, she would partially hide her face beneath her blanket. Several shows later, Castiel had no idea what was happening with the storyline because he hadn't even been paying attention.

"Oh crap," She suddenly said, glancing at the clock on the wall. "It's past midnight. Don't you have to get up early?"

His eyes finally tore away from her face and he reluctantly nodded. "Yes I do. I suppose I should go to bed."

She flicked the tv off and stood with a stretch.

Alright, Cas said to himself, stop this. It's one thing to have one improper thought but now he was having another- But he couldn't peel his eyes away as he focused on the usual areas he felt himself hypnotized by.

"I nearly forgot." She said, which forced his eyes to snap up to hers. "My old roommate left some clothes here, and they look like they'd be your size, do you want them?"

She hadn't failed to notice how he only had what seemed to be two shirts and one pair of jeans- And a dark red hoodie that was pretty much falling apart at the seams.

"Are you sure it's alright?" He asked, standing.

"Yeah, he must not have wanted them... It's not much, a few shirts and I think two pairs of jeans and some shoes."

He nodded, giving a small smile. "I would appreciate that, thank you."

"No problem." She darted for her room and disappeared.

Cas went to his own bedroom and kicked off his shoes, placing them neatly beside the dresser. So far since living here he had done his best to keep the place tidy, as she had requested. He seemed to be pretty good at it, he figured- And had only once forgotten to remove his hoodie from the sofa. He also made certain to help with any household chores there might be, such as dusting and cleaning the kitchen. There wasn't a chance he'd risk upsetting her, it might just force her to ask him to leave, and he couldn't bare the thought of that.

She knocked lightly on his door and he was quick to pull it open.

"Here you go." She said, holding up the folded clothes with a smile. "Hopefully they fit."

"Thank you." He said again.

As he took the clothes his hand just lightly brushed against hers. She didn't seem to notice but he definitely did. A shot of electric hot heat soared through him, which he tried his best to ignore.

"Well, goodnight." She smiled and went back to her own room.

He watched her go with a lump in his throat. "Goodnight."


	3. Chapter 3

The next few months only seemed to be getting better and better Castiel thought. He wasn't nearly as awkward or uncomfortable around her any longer- And their conversations were no longer one sided. But, he couldn't help but feel guilty for lying to her. She was his friend, and he didn't think that lying to her about who he really was would feel so horrible, and unfortunately it did. But there wasn't a chance he could tell her the truth, she would think he was insane- Probably throw him out of the house and never speak to him again. What were the chances that she'd actually believe he had been an angel, lost his grace, and then became human? She wouldn't. Like he thought, she'd believe him to be a raving lunatic. So he continued on with the lie, and everyday a knot in his stomach only grew larger. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel some sort of attachment to this girl, only he wasn't certain what that meant. Which only made the lies that much more painful.

Eventually, after the first month had come and gone, he had decided to cease trying to stop the thoughts going through his mind. The completely inappropriate and confusing thoughts that raced through his brain practically every moment that Hope was near him. They were just thoughts, after all- It's not as though she knew what he was thinking. Even though he felt guilty for it, not to mention like a, as what Dean would say was a "skeevy perv", it was simply impossible to make them stop. But they were frequent and nonstop, just a flash of her smile, or the way she would flip her hair from her shoulder sent his heart into a tailspin. Late at night as he tried to sleep he found he couldn't because his mind wouldn't stop racing.

And, surprising enough, his manager Nora had actually asked him out to dinner and he refused. He wasn't certain why he refused, but he did. He couldn't exactly tell her that he was completely entranced by his roommate, and any other woman failed tenfold in comparison to her- So he simply declined the offer, stating he had work to do at home, or something to that effect.

But it had now been three months that he had been living with Hope, and winter was striking the town with a vengeance as December was more than half over. He was working yet again, doing his usual routine of stocking shelves and running the cash register when the doors jingled and Hope walked in. For a moment he was actually stunned, she hadn't come into the mini mart for... Well, now that he thought about it it had been since he started living with her that was the last time she came in.

She waited as he rang up his last customer before approaching the counter.

"Hey, how's it going so far?" She asked.

He found that smiling, at least to her, was as simple as breathing now.

"I suppose it's the same as always, although it has been rather slow this morning. I'm guessing it's the cold weather deterring people from leaving their homes."

"Shyeah," She snorted, pulling her coat around her tighter. "I don't blame them. Anyways, I wanted to let you know that I'm not gonna be home tonight for dinner, so don't forget to lock the door when you come home."

He almost dropped the roll of quarters he held. "Oh... Of course, I won't forget."

Yes he definitely wanted to ask her where she was going. He had noticed over the course of the last two weeks their next door neighbor, a young man by the name of James, had been chatting quite a bit with her when she retrieved the mail.

A horrible thought shot through his mind now... What if she was planning on going on a date with this man?

"Ok, so here's the thing." She said, leaning against the counter playfully. "At the animal shelter we have a secret Santa thing, and my name got drawn for one of the most difficult and annoying women that works there. I have to go and find something for her, which really is gonna be a pain in the ass- But I gotta do it."

"Secret Santa?" His eyes squinted.

"Yeah, you know, where you pick names from a hat and whose ever name you choose you have to buy a Christmas present for that person?"

He pretended to know what she was talking about as he nodded. "Oh, yes. Secret Santa, of course."

"Yeah, it's not gonna be fun- Especially since everything is gonna be so crowded. I figured I'd grab something lame like a pair of slippers or something... And of course I gotta get something for you."

"Me?"

She smirked and gave him a confused look. "Well, yeah- I mean, we're friends right? And that's what you do for Christmas."

He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about- Personally he never understood pagan holidays- And certainly had never participated in them. But, he was human now- And things like celebrating a holiday for a man that really wasn't Gods son and was _just _a normal man, was what humans did. That obviously explained why she had spent the last three days decorating a tree with lights and ornaments. And Halloween, which he thought was probably the most disturbing holiday, she seemed to love. How people could actually partake in festivities that celebrated a horrible blood-thirsty demon was beyond him. But, as he told himself before, he was human now- And this was what normal humans did.

"I was actually planning on purchasing something for you as well." He lied, no he wasn't planning that because he had no idea what you were supposed to do. But, she was obviously getting something for himself, and if he could return the favor of course he'd do it.

"Really? Ok, well you wanna just go with me then? It'll be kinda hard to buy something for each other without seeing what we're getting but I'm sure we'll manage." She replied. "So, I'll pick you up after your shift's over, we can grab something to eat while we're out, sound good?"

He nodded, flashing yet another smile which surprised him. "That will be perfect, Hope."

Cas couldn't help but notice how happy she seemed about that, and she gave a little wave and left the shop. He watched her through the window as she jumped back in her car and backed away.

As far as he was concerned this shift couldn't be over quick enough. He found he kept glancing at the clock every five minutes, hoping he would see it was time to close up.

Suddenly he stopped with a jar of peanuts in his hands. This wouldn't be considered a date, would it? She did mention getting something to eat beforehand, but was that an actual date? Or just two friends going out together? Considering he had never gone on a date he wasn't sure what qualified as one- After all the last he had spent time alone with a woman she ended up being a reaper and stabbed him in the stomach.

Now he wasn't quite certain on what to do, or how to conduct himself.

No, he shook his head and went back to stocking shelves. If it was a date then she would have told him, right? Unless, she figured it was to be implied, therefore she wouldn't have told him. Yet again, he froze with more items in his hands.

Without even thinking he pulled his phone from his vest and dialed Deans number. If anyone would be able to help him it would be Dean. It rang a few times over before he finally picked up.

"Yeah, hello?"

"Dean," Cas said. "I need your help."

"Why? What's wrong?" Judging by the tone to his voice Cas knew Dean had expected the worst.

"It's nothing dangerous. Well... This is an uncomfortable question for me to ask, but- How do you know if a friend has asked you on a date, or if it's just a simple outing?"

"Uh..." Dean grumbled. "What?"

"I have a friend, her name is Hope, she asked me to go with her to do Christmas shopping and have dinner. Is that considered a date?"

Cas' brows scrunched when he heard Dean chuckling.

"Dude, uh... I don't know, man. I kinda woulda had to be there to know for sure. But, I'll say this- Even if it's not a _date _date, doesn't mean it can't turn into one, you follow?"

"No, Dean. I don't follow."

"Ok, lemme put it this way, Einstein- Just because it might not be a real date, doesn't mean that you can't do somethin about it that will make it _into _a date."

"And how would I do that?"

For a moment he wondered if he even should attempt that. Hope was his friend, right? Friends don't "date" their friends.

"I'm assuming she's a _nice _girl, so the kinda crap I pull wouldn't work on her. So... Just... Don't be _you_."

"That's not very informative, Dean."

Dean continued to grumble. "Ok, compliment her somehow, but don't make it dirty. Open the doors for her, pay for her food, crap like that. Got it?"

"I suppose, and that turns it into a date?"

"Could... And, when you take her home, if she doesn't look creeped out, try kissing her. Gets em every time."

Castiel dropped the package of cookies he held at the thought of actually doing something like that.

"I... I don't know if I should do that, Dean." He stuttered.

"What? Why? You like this chick, right?"

"Of course, she's my friend."

"Dude, not what I meant... I mean you _like _her, right?"

Now Cas fell silent as he contemplated that answer. Did he _like _her? Considering he had never felt that way about another person before he didn't know the signs.

"I... Can't answer that." Cas replied. "Because I'm not certain what that feels like."

Dean sighed, muttering something that sounded like, "Frickin clueless child" before saying.

"One way to know if you like this chick. And more than just you wanna bone her or somethin is- Do you think about her? A lot? Like when she's not around?" Cas didn't hesitate to answer with a definite yes. "What happens when she walks into the room? Like, how do you feel?"

Somehow Castiel knew Dean was rolling his eyes right about now.

"I feel... Lightheaded, and happy. I'm happy that she's there, and often at times my heart rate increases."

"Alright then yes-" Dean said, still chuckling. "I would say you definitely like this chick."

And with that Cas seemed to collapse into himself, was it possible he felt something more for Hope than just a simple friendship? Honestly he had never considered it, and now that he was... He was reverted back to being awkward and uncomfortable, because he highly doubted that she felt the same way. Why would she? He was strange, no doubts, and sometimes appeared cold and unfeeling. He didn't know how to express emotions as a normal person did, and he didn't know the first thing about women.

"Thank you, Dean-" He said quietly. "I suppose I understand now."

"Yeah, no problem. And lemme give you a tip about whatever you're gonna buy her as a Christmas present. Chicks dig jewelry, but if that's what you're gonna get, make sure it's not some cheap piece of crap, got it?"

He nodded, even though Dean couldn't see it. "I understand."

"Good luck, buddy."

Cas hung up and stuffed his phone back in his pocket, letting out a sigh. Perhaps calling Dean wasn't such a good idea because now he was terrified- And he couldn't even think about focusing on his duties. His shift that he hoped would fly by in a matter of seconds, he now wished would never end. Whether this was a date or not, didn't matter now- Now he was worrying about how he was going to conduct himself in front of Hope. He couldn't let her know how he felt, it would have been wrong. She saw him as a friend, her roommate, and nothing else.

But his shift did fly by, and as soon as it came time to close up the shop, he found himself locked in the mens room staring at himself in the mirror. He tried to smooth down the stray pieces of hair that were fly away, and adjusted his button up shirt beneath his vest. Afterwards doing away with the vest entirely. If this truly was a date, he couldn't wear his work uniform. Once he was through with whatever it was he was attempting, he left the bathroom and started in with closing. He had thrown his coat on and locked the door behind him when he heard her car pull into the parking lot.

He was careful to avoid the patches of ice as he moved to the passenger side and climbed in.

"Hey," She said cheerfully. "You ready?"

He pulled on his seat belt and then finally managed to look at her. But once he had he felt himself go stiff.

First thoughts were he had never seen her look so beautiful, and that was strange to him- Because even on her worst day he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She had apparently dressed up for the occasion. Her hair was curled, and a white knitted hat was pulled down over her ears to mask the cold. A matching scarf was wrapped around her neck, and her creamy white coat seemed to tug and fit in all the right places. He wasn't certain but he thought she might have been wearing cosmetics.

"Yes," He croaked out, somehow. "I'm ready."

She started on the drive through town, and he shifted his eyes over and over again to take subtle glances at her. Suddenly he was aware that his palms were sweaty, and he struggled to remember when or if that had ever happened. He tried to as nonchalantly as possible wipe them on his jeans before clearing his throat awkwardly.

"You, uh..." He started, fidgeting in his seat. "You look very nice."

He noticed her give half a smile. "Thank you."

Well he did as Dean had said and complimented her, but somehow that didn't feel like enough. She looked far better than just "very nice", in fact he was finding it difficult to not stare at her blankly like he always did.

"So, any thoughts on where you'd like to eat?" She said, breaking the silence. "It doesn't really matter to me, I'm not picky."

"I'm not picky either." He replied. "Anywhere would be fine, Hope."

"Ok, well... There's this little place I know of- I haven't been there but it's supposed to be good. Hopefully it won't be too packed."

He merely nodded, hearing the silence fill the car once again. It would have been much simpler to form a conversation if he hadn't of come to the realization that he had some sort of feelings for her. He only figured it would be even more awkward once they reached the restaurant, because then you were forced to make some type of conversation. He couldn't just sit there staring down at the table.

When they pulled in front of a building on Main street, Cas stared over at the entrance and the outdoor furniture that was covered in snow. He didn't know this restaurant but it seemed to be relatively nice, and somewhat quiet.

He followed her inside where a woman in a black uniform greeted them.

"Good afternoon, and Merry Christmas," She said. "Table for two?"

Cas barely heard Hope respond, because he was too busy examining the area. The rafters stretched across the ceiling had been wrapped in white Christmas lights, and there were small candles lit on each table draped in a white fabric. The walls were brick, and the floor hard wood. This place was nice... Perhaps a little _too_ nice, he thought. He hoped he could afford both Hopes and his meal.

They started through the tables and ended up at a quiet one in the back corner. He was preparing to sit when he noticed Hope removing her coat. Now, he knew what to do, he had seen it in dozens of movies and television shows that she watched, so he quickly walked over and helped her with her take it off.

"Thanks." She said, sounding slightly surprised.

He never knew it would be so hard to croak out a "You're welcome" but it was. So, he simply folded her coat neatly and draped it over an extra chair at the table before sitting.

It didn't take long for the waiter to approach and he gave a smile.

"Afternoon," He said. "Can I start you off with drinks?"

Cas didn't mind that idea, perhaps a little alcohol would settle his uneasiness, but he waited for Hope to order first.

"I think I'll have a glass of white wine." She said.

"And for you, Sir?"

His throat had suddenly gone dry, but he managed to speak anyhow. "I'll have the same, thank you."

"Ok, great. Before I go, we're running a Christmas couples special-" The waiter went on. "So you can get two meals for the price of one. Just a little info before you glance at the menu. I'll be back with your drinks."

Hope grabbed the menu and flipped it open, and Cas followed her movements. At least he wouldn't have to worry about not having enough money to pay for her meal. Now he just needed to figure out how he was going to tell her that he was going to pay? It wasn't the best idea to take notes from movies or television shows, but seeing is that he had no experience what so ever when it came to things like this- He fell back on it anyhow. Generally the man would wait for the bill to be brought to the table, and then he would take it and offer to pay or say "I got this". He supposed that was the best way to go about it.

"Do you know what you want?" She asked, and he tore his eyes from the menu. "I heard the salmon was good."

"I'm not certain." He answered. He'd never eaten salmon before so he hadn't a clue on whether he would like it. So he decided to play it safe and order something he did know he liked, which was chicken.

The waiter returned with their wine and within two seconds he had the entire glass drank. Hope only watched him with an arched brow- She knew the guy was nervous but she didn't think it was that bad.

After he had downed the entire glass he halfway regretted it. The affects hit him almost instantly. He was human now, he reminded himself, which meant he didn't have a high tolerance for alcohol anymore. He couldn't simply drink an entire liquor store any longer, and apparently one glass of wine was enough to make his head spin. He hadn't drank since he became human, so he needed to adjust.

She noticed him blink a few times over, before resuming with the awkward fidgeting.

"So how was your day?" She asked, trying to break the silence.

"Surprisingly short." He answered rather quickly. "Considering there weren't many customers."

"Has Nora talked to you about your Christmas vacation yet?"

He nodded. "She said that I would have an extra long weekend, I won't need to return until Tuesday."

"That's good. Do you plan on doing anything? Like maybe going and visiting the friends you were telling me about?"

"No, that isn't a possibility. As I told you before their professions keep them busy, I very much doubt they'll even be home." He tried to shake off the dizziness. "What about yourself?"

"I'm not going anywhere either. One of the women I work with is having a party, but I don't plan on going." She shrugged. "Parties aren't really my thing. So I guess it's just gonna be you and me, huh?" He fell silent once more and she furrowed her brows. "Are you ok?"

Not especially, but he couldn't tell her that, so he lied... He lied yet again.

"I'm perfectly fine, Hope."

He tried to give a smile as proof of that, but just as in the past it came out stiff and forced.

"You sure? It seems like there's something on your mind, Steve?"

Steve... He was really beginning to loathe that name. He halfway had the urge to blurt that his name was actually Castiel. He longed to hear his real name come from her lips, it would have been beautiful.

He wasn't sure if it was the small glass of wine, or if maybe he was just completely through with lying to her, but he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table, stared her straight in the eyes and said.

"I haven't been truthful with you about something. Something that's actually very important."

Taken aback, she was the one to fumble now. "Oh? About what?"

"Who I am," He blurted. "I lied about who I am. I can't tell you what they are, but there are things you don't know about me. Things, that I'm certain you wouldn't believe, it would sound too preposterous- But, I just want you to understand that if I could tell you, I would."

She nodded. "Well, if one of the things you're talking about is that your name really isn't Steve, I kinda figured that already."

His eyes squinted. "How would you have known that?"

"Because you look uncomfortable whenever someone calls you that, and sometimes you don't respond right away. Plus... You just don't look like a Steve."

Now he was confused. "So, if you knew that all along... Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you were obviously doing it for a reason. I mean a person doesn't just change their identity unless they didn't have any other choice. I figured that it wasn't any of my business, so why would I have mentioned it?"

He wished he had more alcohol right about now. "I see."

"Everyone has had things happen in their life that they might not be proud of. Sometimes people cope with that by running away from it, some might even change their names and start a completely new life somewhere else. Everyone is different."

"It's more than that when it concerns myself, Hope. It's more than just running away and changing my name. It's what I'm running from."

They both fell silent when their food was served, only now Cas didn't seem to have much of an appetite anymore. Once the waiter was gone, Hope leaned closer.

"I don't expect you to tell me whatever that might be, but I think I can make a pretty good guess. You gave it away a little bit after the first week you moved in. You said that you had a large family, but had a falling out and now don't speak anymore. If that's it, I don't know, but it just seems like maybe you're trying to avoid your family." She noticed how he refused to bring his eyes up from the table after that. "And, normally, when someone runs away from their family it's because they've done something that they feel can never be forgiven."

His jaw clenched tightly. "What I did..." He shook his head. "_Can't _be forgiven, and I wouldn't expect them to. I ruined everything, I destroyed _everything_. Even though it wasn't intentional, I was only trying to fix what went wrong in my home, I somehow managed to make it worse. And now, every single one of my siblings would rather see me dead than forgive me."

He felt a shiver run through him when she reached across the table and grabbed his hand.

"No one has done something that's so horrible it can't be forgiven. And if that's how your family really feels, then... They're not your family. Those guys you told me about, Sam and Dean- They're your family. Someone doesn't just completely disown a person they supposedly care about just because they made a mistake. That's not how family works."

He watched her thumb lightly stroke across his knuckles, his heart immediately shot up to his throat.

"Thank you, Hope. I'm beginning to understand that now." He said.

Cas never thought he could feel so much relief over actually admitting the truth- Or at least the partial truth. But he did, it felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"So I guess I don't get to know your real name, huh?" She asked, smirking.

His eyes moved to hers and he let out a quiet sigh. "If I were to tell you, you couldn't repeat it... Never, at least not in public."

"Ok?" She shrugged and to his dismay pulled her hand away. "I won't."

He glanced around the room warily, before leaning over closer. "It's Castiel." He whispered.

And again he found himself staring dumbly at the smile that formed on her perfect lips.

"That's much better than Steve." She said. "I like it."


	4. Chapter 4

Cas was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people stuffed into the shopping mall Hope had brought him to. For an instant he regretted agreeing to come with her, because it was dangerous to be around so many people. He had no way of knowing who might be an angel anymore, and when one might suddenly appear wielding a weapon. But after the first hour he started to calm down, everyone seemed to be preoccupied with their last minute Christmas shopping, and barely paid any mind to them as they pushed through the crowd.

The first place she stopped was a shop that carried candles, lotions and other feminine things. She muttered something about finding a gift for her coworker and ended up purchasing a basket that held, what he figured, was something a woman might enjoy.

As they passed shop after shop he let his eyes scale over the items trying to figure out what he could buy for her. Dean had suggested jewelry, but what sort of jewelry? A necklace? A ring, or bracelet?

"Ok here's what we gotta do." She said, stopping. "You go your way so you can do your shopping and I'll go mine, we'll meet back here at the pretzel stand in fifteen minutes, is that enough time?" When she noticed his confused stare she went on. "You can't see what I'm gonna get you, so..."

"Oh," He nodded, finally understanding. "Of course, uh... Fifteen minutes."

He watched her disappear into the crowd before letting out a deep breath.

This was going to be difficult, but at least he had somewhat of an idea of what to get her. So he started walking, eventually coming to a jewelry store with a sign out front that said. "Christmas Sale". Dean had said that he shouldn't buy her something "cheap", but he didn't have a large sum of money and he would still need to make his rent. The place was packed full of people, the majority of which were couples. He pushed his way past and started peaking into the display cases. It didn't take long for his stomach to fall to the floor.

Everything was ridiculously expensive, a pair of earrings were three hundred dollars.

"Can I help you, Sir?" A woman said from behind the case. "Anything in particular you're looking for?"

"Uh," Cas blabbered. "I'm not certain. It's for a friend."

"Ok," She smiled. "Well, we're having a Christmas sale right now, so all of our pieces are half off. Do you know what she might like?"

"No," He shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't."

"Well that's why I'm here," She continued to smile. "I can give you some pointers if you want?"

"Thank you, that would be helpful."

She grabbed three velvet boxes from the case and lied them down. "If it were me," She said. "I would go with this necklace. It's simple and sweet at the same time, I'm positive your friend would like it."

Cas knelt over and examined it closely- It was a thin gold chain with a small heart pendant that held a pink stone in the middle. He had no idea if Hope would like it or not, so he would only have to guess.

"Or, if you think she'd want a bracelet?" The woman interrupted his thoughts.

"No, I think she would prefer the necklace." Actually he had no idea what she'd prefer.

"Great, would you like the earrings to match?"

He froze, and forced himself to stand up straight. "Earrings?"

"Mhm, it's fifty five dollars extra."

Now he counted to himself, trying to think if he could afford both and also make rent. He could do it, but it would leave very little left for anything else.

"Alright, yes. I suppose I'll take both." He finally answered.

"Wonderful, would you like them gift wrapped?"

"Gift wrapped? Is it customary to wrap a Christmas gift?"

She gaped at him for a moment before nodding. "Yes, Sir. Usually it is."

"Then yes, I would like it gift wrapped."

After they were wrapped and he paid, he left the jewelry store and made his way back for the pretzel stand where Hope would be waiting. He was there a good five minutes before he saw her pushing through the crowd with two large bags in her hands. She let out a huff of air when she stopped in front of him.

"It's crazy in here," She said. "Next year, remind me to do Christmas shopping a month ahead of time, ok?"

For a moment he cocked his head to the side in thought. So she expected him to still be living with her another year from now? It was remarkable, he thought, at how happy that made him.

Still going by what he saw on television he took the bags from her hands and carried them as they started back in the way they came- Until she stopped at a coffee stand. She ordered herself a hot chocolate and him a coffee, and for a moment he fidgeted awkwardly with the bags in his hand. He should pay for those, but his hands were full and she already had her wallet out of her purse. Dean had made it perfectly clear that he was to pay for everything.

"Uh," He garbled. "I could pay for those?"

She flashed him a smile and shook her head. "It's ok, I got it. You paid for dinner after all."

He still considered it a triumph of sorts that he managed to accomplish that at the restaurant without making himself look like a bumbling idiot. And Hope had seem grateful that he actually did it. If this was turning out to be an actual date, he hoped it wasn't a failure. But she seemed happy enough, and honestly so was he. The nerves he had been feeling before leaving the mini mart were just a dull twinge in the back of his mind, and now he wished the night wouldn't end.

Humanity certainly had its advantages. Even the little things that most people took for granted he thought were amazing. For instance, sitting on an empty mall bench sipping coffee while she prattled on beside him was practically perfect. And despite the hectic surroundings, the screaming children and insane Christmas shoppers, he felt himself growing more comfortable being a part of it. Yes, he still felt as though he stuck out like a sore thumb, that people would notice he wasn't quite normal- But he was adjusting as well as possible and he could definitely say that over the course of the last few months he was beginning to _not _miss being an angel.

He shifted his eyes to her as she took a sip of her beverage, and his brows furrowed. "What does that taste like?"

"You've never had hot chocolate before?"

He shook his head. "No I haven't."

Hope blinked away her surprise, how was it was possible that a person had never had hot chocolate? She then held up her cup. "Taste it and see for yourself."

Cas took a much larger and scalding gulp then he had intended, and after forcing his watered eyes to dry he cleared his throat.

"Well?" She smirked. "Whatcha think?"

Just as he did everything he thought it over for a good thirty seconds before nodding. "It's very good."

She smiled yet again and returned her attention to the bustling crowd. When Castiels phone began to ring from his coat pocket, he hesitated answering it. The only people that would be calling him would either be Sam or Dean, or his manager Nora- And he didn't want to talk to either of them right now. Being interrupted now of all times was a terrible inconvenience.

"You gonna answer that?" She asked.

"I suppose I should." He sighed, and reached into his pocket noticing it was Dean and hitting accept. "Hello, Dean."

Hope raised a brow curiously at who was calling, but continue to sip at her hot chocolate.

"How's it goin so far?" Dean asked.

"What?"

"With your date, man. How's it going?"

Cas shifted his eyes to Hope, and swallowed nervously. "Everything is fine, Dean. Why have you called?"

"To check up on you and make sure you didn't screw everything up. Did you buy her present?"

"Yes, of course."

"And did you pay for dinner?"

Cas sighed deeply. "Yes, I did that as well."

"Awesome, you should be golden then. Soo... What's she look like?"

"Dean. I can't exactly talk about that right now."

"Is she pretty?"

"Of course, very much so."

Dean chuckled into the phone. "Oh ho, you stud you. Ok, look- You know this chick more than I do obviously, but just cause that's the case..." He paused. "Just be careful, ok?"

Be careful of what, he wanted to ask but didn't- Because Hope would overhear and question it.

"Yes, I know." Cas responded. "I always am."

"Wear a condom." Dean quickly added.

"What?"

And Dean hung up on him, leaving Castiel confused. So he merely closed his phone and stuffed it back into his pocket.

"Everything ok?" Hope asked.

"Yes... Dean uh... Well he likes to check up on me every now and then."

She nodded. "That's nice of him. He must really care about you."

Apparently he did. Although Cas never really questioned that until recently, he knew Sam and Dean were like his brothers. It was just after Dean asked him to leave the bunker he wondered if perhaps they no longer felt that way. He understood it, even though he didn't like it- After all, he had done so much that couldn't be forgiven, so he wouldn't have blamed the brothers if they didn't welcome his presence any longer.

Once Hope had finished her hot chocolate she stood and gave a little sigh. "Ok, well- What else do you wanna do?"

He stood too after picking up the bags. "Whatever you'd like."

She suddenly grinned maniacally. "Oh you shouldn't have said that."

"What, why?"

Now she grabbed his wrist and started dragging him through the mall. "We're gonna do the lamest most corniest thing ever."

"What exactly is that?"

She pulled him to a stop beside what he could see now was a photo booth, judging by the bright red letters painted on the side. She shoved the curtain aside and coaxed him in, then followed. Once she closed the curtain she put the money in the slot and snickered.

"Ok, you know the rules. Two lame dumb looking pictures making funny faces, and two serious ones."

"Those are the rules?" He asked, squinting his eyes in confusion.

"Yeah, people always end up doing that. It's impossible to take pictures in one of these things without making a few dumb faces." She punched around on the screen choosing black and white photos instead of colored. "Ok, get ready. The first two will be the goofy faces."

But what exactly was a "goofy" face? He had no idea, and if he took the moment to observe her he might just miss...

FLASH!

For a moment he jumped as the first picture was taken, and he realized that he was merely staring awkwardly ahead for the first picture. Hope however had gone cross eyed. The second picture she reached up and grabbed his face, smushing it until his lips puckered, she mimicked the face with her own.

"Ok, now be serious." She said, sitting up straight. "Remember to smile."

This was strangely amusing, he thought. But he mimicked her actions by sitting up straight and giving a slight smile. For the final photo she moved a little closer and rested her head on his shoulder. Almost like it was natural he responded to that by putting his arm around her. It was after the photo was taken did he realize exactly what he'd done, which of course only confounded him all the more. For those few fleeting seconds all traces of nerves and awkwardness were gone, he felt normal and more happy then he'd ever felt. But after the pictures were finished and they climbed out of the photo booth, he had returned to being stiff and uncomfortable.

It took a good few minutes for the photos to process before being dropped in the deposit slot. Hope grabbed them and held them up, immediately beginning to chuckle, she then handed Cas his copy.

He stared down at them in utter amazement, feeling himself smile. He was baffled at how completely normal he looked in the last photo.

"Not bad." She said.

"They're wonderful." Was his response.

"You really appreciate the little things, don't you?"

He nodded and couldn't pry his eyes off the photos. "Yes, I suppose I do."

But she had no idea that he didn't consider this to be something little. In fact to him, it was an enormous step. It was proof all the more that he could actually live a normal and happy life, maybe even consider one place in the world his home. If he could live a life with her in it, it would be perfection.

She only smiled yet another glorious smile before starting back off through the mall. He grabbed the bags and followed, and soon they there making the drive back for her, no he had to correct himself, _their _home. Still he wasn't certain if this had been an actual date, but right at that moment it didn't matter. It was still the best night he'd ever had- And he had thousands to compare it to. All of the thousands of years he had been an angel and never once had he experienced happiness before. At the time he convinced himself he must have been happy, because he was an Angel of the Lord, he was perfect and ageless, could do anything he set his mind on. But it was only a lie. A lie to cover over the empty nothingness he felt inside. Yes definitely, being human was so much greater.

His mind was spinning to the point he didn't even realize they'd pulled into the drive and Hope had already climbed out of the car. He was only jostled out of it when she shut the door. After grabbing the bags he followed her up to the door and waited as she unlocked it and stepped inside.

"Ok, we gotta put the gifts under the tree." She said, taking the bags from him.

"Why?"

"I know, it's lame, but you're supposed to wait til Christmas morning to open them, which is tomorrow. It might sound corny but I still remember the way it was when I was a kid, ya know. Every morning my Mom would get up and make pancakes, we'd sit down as a family and talk about the new year coming and what we hoped would happen, then we'd go crazy and open the presents..." She trailed off, her eyes falling to the floor. "That was when our family still spoke, the house was always filled with cousins, aunts and uncles. So... I guess I just like to pretend things are still like that."

She threw off her coat and hat and tossed them on the sofa, then knelt down at the tree and placed the wrapped packages underneath.

In an instant the cheerful smiling side of her faded away and the sadness returned. Cas sat down beside her and could have swore he saw a trace of tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to be intrusive, but... Why exactly do you not speak with your family anymore?" He asked.

She let out a sigh and shrugged. "It's... Kind of a long story."

He nodded. "I understand. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

After sitting back and tucking her knees into her chest, she nodded. "It was my fault my parents died."

His brows scrunched in confusion. "I thought you said it was a car accident?"

"It was... I was the one driving. I was young and stupid, only twenty two and had been getting into some trouble. My parents never gave up on me though, they were always trying to get me to get my act together. One night, I was at a party, got drunk, and went home. They were always so naive and trusting they couldn't even tell I was plastered out of my mind. We decided to go out for dinner, I offered to drive and yeah... We crashed into tree. Mom and Dad were killed and I was thrown from the car, but walked away with a broken arm. After that, my Moms brothers and sisters disowned me. So... That's why we don't speak."

He just barely noticed her brush a tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry, Hope."

"Then the whole ordeal about the inheritance happened. Mom and Dad left me everything and them nothing. And they were always money hungry and selfish, so of course they weren't happy when they got nothing. They tried to contest the will and the next year and a half was spent in court. It got thrown out after a while, but they already hated me and that just added fuel to the fire." She let out a deep sigh. "Honestly if it hadn't of been for my Dads law firm I would have gone to prison for killing my parents, but I got off on probation... And, as soon as it was done I packed up my car and took off. I haven't been back since."

He scooted closer and yet again put his arm around her- Despite the unsettling topic of conversation he couldn't help but be elated when she didn't pull away and instead rested her head on his shoulder.

"As you told me earlier tonight," He said. "Real family wouldn't disown you for making a mistake."

She huffed out a tear filled laugh. "I guess I did say that, huh?"

"I'm beginning to realize that making mistakes, no matter how horrible they might be, is a part of life. You can't avoid them- It will always happen. What matters is what you do afterwards. And you've obviously turned your life around, you've done a lot of good, Hope. You're a kind person and you seem to care about a lot of things. If your family can't see that, then it's their mistake... Not yours." He held his breath for a moment. "I can be your family now."

She let out a deep sigh and sat up, looking him in the eyes. "You can be incredibly sweet, you know?"

And then a moment that would forever be ingrained into Castiels memory happened. She kissed his cheek. He didn't think that such a simple act could be so overwhelming, but it was. In the past, before he knew April had been a reaper she did the same thing. But this felt so much different, it made his heart and blood race, his mind go soft and cloudy, his head began to spin. His eyes slowly flitted closed, and if he could stop time right then and there he probably would have.

Of course that only left him wanting more. He wanted to feel what it would be like to have his lips on hers, to feel her skin against his and stay that way for hours upon hours on end. Waking up in the morning with her in his arms would have been nothing short of heavenly.

But he didn't act out on his wants, because as he told himself... Hope was his friend, and he didn't want to jeopardize that. Even when she lingered close enough he could feel her warm breath on his face, and her nose just barely grazed against his he held himself back. Granted he didn't know much about women, and he certainly wasn't experienced, but he couldn't help but wonder if she was wanting him to kiss her. She lingered there for a good fifteen seconds before finally pulling away, ripping his heart out as she did so.

"Well, I guess I should get to bed." She said, giving a small smile. "Thanks for tonight. It was fun."

He was still stunned into silence but shook it off enough to return a smile and mutter, "Goodnight."

He barely heard her bedroom door close because his eyes were transfixed on the bright strings of light on the Christmas tree.

Dean was definitely right. He felt more for Hope then just a simple friendship and it certainly was strong enough to completely take over all rational thoughts. The only thing he knew for certain right at that moment was that Hope would never know that secret- Because she couldn't. As kind as she was, he still believed she only looked at him as her friend and roommate- And if she were to find out how he really felt then it would create an unusual tension, therefore ruining everything they might have had right now. As much as he ached to tell her the truth, he wouldn't- He would suffer through it because having her as a friend was better than nothing at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel awoke to the sound of knocking on his bedroom door, followed by an "Are you awake? I'm making pancakes."

He rolled over and glanced at the clock, noticing it a little past seven. He was exhausted, he had barely slept the night before his mind wouldn't stop racing. By the time he managed to drift off it was already 4:30 and he'd hoped by morning the pit in his stomach would be gone, but unfortunately hearing Hopes voice on the other side of the door had brought it back with a vengeance.

But he pulled himself out of bed anyhow and threw on a pair of sweat pants she had given him and opened his door.

"I'm awake." He said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Good morning," She said smiling. "Are you hungry?"

Not especially, but he wasn't going to tell her that. "I am, I'll be out in a moment."

She returned to the kitchen and he made his way for the bathroom where he brushed his teeth and tried to tame his bed messed hair. Honestly he should have taken a shower but he was simply too exhausted, and she had already begun to prepare breakfast. When he joined her there he noticed she had already fixed him a cup of coffee which was sitting on the bar.

"Can I help with anything?" He asked.

"Nope, I got it. You just sit there and relax."

He let out a long yawn and sipped at his coffee. Maybe after breakfast he could return to bed and get a few more hours of sleep. When the doorbell suddenly rang, Hope turned and arched a brow.

"I wonder who that is?" She said. "Do you mind getting it? I don't want the pancakes to burn."

He nodded and laggardly made his way to the door, pulling it open. As soon as he saw who was standing on the other side he felt his jaw clench.

It was their next door neighbor, the man named James. Castiel wasn't sure why he hated this man so much, but he did and he had the urge to shove him backwards down the front porch steps.

"Hey... Steve, right?" He asked, giving a very fake smile. "Is Hope home?"

Cas only stared at him for a good fifteen seconds, saying nothing- Which of course made James shift on his feet uncomfortably.

"Yes," He spat. "She is. I'll get her."

He then slammed the door in James' face and returned to the kitchen, Hope hadn't heard the short words spoken and for a moment he contemplated not telling her who was at the door.

"The neighbor from next door wants to speak with you." He said, because why shouldn't he? There was no reason why he shouldn't tell her who had come to see her.

"Uh, really?" She clicked the stove off and scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Did she say what he wants?"

He shook his head. "No, he didn't."

She lied the platter stacked high with pancakes on the bar and let out a sigh. "Well, I guess I should see what he wants."

Hope lingered in the kitchen for a good minute or so while Cas kept his eyes fixed on his coffee. She stuffed her feet into her boots and grabbed her coat and stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her. As soon as he heard the door click closed he jumped out of his seat and scooted over to the living room window which provided a decent view of the front porch, he did however keep himself partially hidden behind the curtains.

He wasn't quite certain what exactly he was feeling right about then, but whatever it was he didn't like it. His stomach was twisted into a different knot now, and he could feel his face flushing hot from anger. But, why was he angry? There really shouldn't have been a reason for it.

They spoke for a few short minutes before James brought his arms out from behind his back and revealed a wrapped gift, fashioned with a sparkling gold ribbon. Even more so Castiel felt the urge to push him down the stairs. How could he give her a gift when he barely even knew her? And especially since he hadn't given Hope the gift he'd purchased for her the night before. He watched as she opened up the package and pulled out what appeared to be some sort of scarf. She thanked him for it obviously, and seemed to be telling him goodbye when he leaned over and gave her a hug. That made Cas' hands clench into fists as even more rage shot through him. He had suspected that this man had some sort of interest in Hope, and why wouldn't he? She was an incredible woman, was kind and beautiful- He would be crazy not to be.

Since they were at a far enough distance, he cracked open the window and leaned forward, trying to listen to their conversation.

"Thank you for the scarf, James." He heard Hope say.

"No problem. Hey, I was actually wondering if you'd maybe want to do something some time? After the Holidays are over would you want to go to dinner?"

Cas felt himself grumble under his breath. It was as he suspected then.

"Um..." Hope shifted on her feet, passing a quick glance at the closed door. "Well, I actually don't know- I'm going to be pretty busy with work, and I don't really have much time for anything else."

James nodded. "Ok, no problem. I'll give you call then after everything's died down."

She waved him off and Cas quickly closed the window and darted back to his seat at the bar. Afterwards he was even more confused as to why he did that at all. Spying on someones private conversation was rude, it wasn't any of his business what Hope said or did when he wasn't around. He took a scalding gulp of coffee to try and take his mind off the anger and uncomfortable twisting knot in his stomach when she finally entered the house and returned to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that." She said.

"It's fine." He replied, taking another hot gulp.

She finished with the breakfast and retrieved two plates from the cabinet before sitting across from him.

"Don't forget," She said. "We still have to open each others presents."

He nodded and dished himself a stack of pancakes. "I remember."

"Hopefully you'll like what I got you. I always have issues finding things, and then once I do I can't decide between one or the other." She sighed. "And then of course there's the awkward moment when someone you barely know buys you something and you feel like a gigantic ass for not even considering getting them something as well."

He squinted his eyes. "Are you talking about James?"

"Yeah," She rolled her eyes. "How are you supposed to respond to something like that? A perfect stranger buying you something? That never happens to me, it's weird."

"I believe I have a pair of dirty socks in my laundry basket you could give him." Cas replied.

Hope snorted out a laugh and nearly choked on her coffee. "Right, I'm sure he'd love those."

Oddly enough, he wasn't joking, and oddly enough- He wanted to cram those socks down James' throat. But he forced those thoughts away by shoving a heaping bite in his mouth. He had been in a foul mood when he woke up and it was only intensifying as the morning progressed. He had tried to convince himself the night before that having Hope as a friend was better than nothing- But he was halfway convinced already that before that could happen he would go insane for harboring such feelings for her and not saying anything about it. That in turn had rendered his mood bitter which really wasn't fair to her. She didn't know about any of this, she didn't know he was driving himself mad thinking about her day in and day out. She didn't know that his entire existence would come crumbling down around him if she suddenly left his life.

"And then he goes and ask me out, which made it even more weird," She continued. "How do you respond when someone you have zero interest in asks you out?"

His eyes shot up to hers and started to shift. That had only happened once, and it was with his Manager Nora.

"Uh," He garbled. "I suppose I would say that I wasn't interested."

"So you just flat out tell them the truth? I guess that's the best way to do it, that way they wouldn't keep trying." She took another bite. "He's a nice guy and all, but no thanks."

Hope was wondering if she was going to have to spell it out for him by this point- He just didn't seem to understand anything. The night before she thought maybe she was getting somewhere with him, but just as always nothing happened. So either he was even more shy than she first thought, or he simply wasn't interested, she couldn't tell anymore. She halfway had the urge to hang mistletoe all over the damn house just to get him to kiss her.

"Ok, I'm stuffed." She said, sliding out of her chair. "And I'm about to go crazy, I want you to open your gifts."

She dragged him by the wrist over to the tree and grabbed the two packages she had placed there and sat on the couch. He sat beside her and she lied them both in his lap.

"You first." She smiled.

He stared down at the gifts in confusion. This was more than unusual, he had never gotten a gift before in his entire existence. But he gingerly started to remove the paper until she let out a chuckle.

"Rip it, you're supposed to rip it."

He shrugged slightly and did as she said, shredding the paper until it was a mess on his lap and the floor, before pulling out a small black box. After pulling it open his felt his brows arch in surprise.

It was a watch, a surprisingly nice watch.

"I knew you didn't have one," She said. "And I thought it might be useful. It's waterproof, so you don't have to worry about spilling anything on it at work or getting it wet."

"It's... It's beautiful, Hope- Thank you." He removed it from the box and she helped him clasp it around his wrist.

"Ok next one." She said, pointing to the second package on his lap.

He tore that one open as well and inside was a flat white box, which he pulled the lid from. Inside was a dark blue scarf with a matching beanie.

"Ok, so, those... I sort of knitted them. It's freezing outside and I don't want you to get frost bite when you walk to work since you insist on doing that and won't let me drive you."

He looked up at her flabbergasted. "When did you find the time to make these?"

"Usually at night before I went to bed, I've been working on them for a couple months."

He pulled the scarf out and examined it in the light. "Thank you, they're wonderful."

"You're welcome. I hope you like them."

"I do, definitely."

She only smiled and he finally broke of the trance and retrieved the gifts he bought for her. She took them eagerly and stared at both small packages.

"Any preference on which one I open first?" She asked.

He pointed to the slightly larger one. "I suppose that one."

She nodded and tore the paper off in one swift swipe, removing the velvet covered box. He felt himself anxiously twitching his fingers at her response. When she pulled it open, revealing the necklace her eyes went wide.

"Wow..." She breathed out. "It's beautiful... Thank you so much, I love it."

He let out a relieved sigh then motioned to the second one, which she tore open next, revealing the earrings.

"They're to match the necklace." He said.

She didn't say anything for several long seconds, which caused him to panic. If she didn't like them, he could always return them and get something else, or...

His thoughts cut off when she reached over and gave him a tight hug, it practically knocked the wind right out of him he was so surprised.

"Thank you." She said again. "They're perfect, really... I love them both."

Castiel could say with a certainty now that Christmas was definitely his favorite holiday.

* * *

Another month came and went, and just as February was getting started, he found himself dealing with a particularly unruly customer who was complaining that the coffee wasn't fresh. He maintained his cool, remembering that the customer was always right- Although this time around he clearly wasn't, because he had just made fresh coffee not ten minutes ago.

"I assure you, Sir-" Castiel said. "That the coffee is not six hours old, but if you're having issues with it I can always make another pot."

"I don't have time for that," The old man barked back. "Just ring me up and give me a pack of menthols."

Cas let out a few deep breaths and did as the man asked, thanking everything in existence when he finally left the mini mart. Once he was through he went back to mopping down the floors. It was still relatively early, and the usual crowd wouldn't be coming in until after noon, so he had plenty of time to relish the quiet. He didn't even notice the rumble of an engine out front, or the bells on the door jingle as someone stepped in. He only stopped with his mopping when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

After swinging around he felt his eyes go wide.

"Dean..." He said, fumbling slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"Good to see you too, Cas-" Dean replied sarcastically. "I thought I'd come and say hello, is that so bad?"

"Uh," Cas glanced at the door. "Of course not... Where's Sam?"

"Couldn't make it," He leaned against the counter. "He's back at the bunker doin research with Kevin." Dean waited for a response but didn't get one. "So, you look like you're holdin up ok- You still sleepin in the storeroom, or..."

"No," Cas quickly replied, setting his mop aside. "I found somewhere to stay." He then let out a sigh. "You didn't drive all the way here just to say hello, Dean. Why are you really here?"

Dean nodded, crossing his arms slightly. "Sam and me had a little disagreement- So I took off for a few days. I actually did just come up here to say hey."

"A disagreement? About what?"

"Same old thing I guess. Not really important." Dean cleared his throat and let his eyes trail away. "Anyways, I'm glad you got someplace to stay now, what time is your shift over, maybe you could let me take a peak."

"Why?"

"Why not? I did drive all night nonstop just to say hey you ass- Be friggin hospitable."

Cas arched his brow feeling himself snicker at Deans usual sarcastic attitude.

"I don't know if I could do that though, Dean. I don't live alone. I have a roommate."

"This dude against havin company over or somethin?"

"It's not a dude." Cas replied, refilling the empty napkin holders.

"You're livin with a girl?" Dean snorted out a laugh. "Holy crap, never would have guessed that... Wait a second, is it that Hope chick you were tellin me about?"

Cas nodded, turning around to face him. "It is."

And just as it was predetermined by some spiteful god that had something against him, the doors jingled a second time as Hope walked in. She stopped long enough to stomp the snow from her boots, then spotted Cas by the coffee and made her way over.

"Hey," She said. "You left your phone on the counter this morning."

She held it out and Cas stared at her, then at Dean awkwardly. "Oh... Thank you."

He quickly stuffed it in his pockets and couldn't miss Deans sneering even if he tried.

"Hold up a sec-" Dean said, moving closer grinning like an idiot. "Aren't you gonna introduce us?"

Cas shifted back and forth on his feet while Hope scrunched her brows in confusion.

"Uh," He croaked out. "Hope, this is my friend Dean. Dean this is Hope Gray."

"Ohh." She said, smiling. "You're Dean?"

"Ah, so you've heard of me?" Dean held out his hand. "I guess I'm just too awesome to not talk about, huh?"

Cas felt his lips cinch and he hoped Dean could hear what he was mentally screaming at him. To please, _please_, not mention that he had feelings for her, or anything else that might embarrass him. He halfway wondered if this was what it was like to bring someone home to meet the parents. That was always supposed to be uncomfortable and extremely embarrassing.

After a quick handshake Hope chuckled. "Well he mentioned that you and your brother were like family, so." She then lit up. "Did you invite Dean over for dinner?"

"As a matter of fact he did-" Dean answered before Cas could. "And how could I resist?"

Cas' face was blank, then Dean smacked him on the back which forced him to give a stiff and forced smile.

"I was going to ask you if it was alright of course." He said, glaring at Dean afterwards.

She only waved her hands at him. "You don't have to ask. It's your house too. Ok, well there's a few things I gotta pick up and I guess I'll see you both tonight."

"I can't wait." Dean said, smiling.

She gave a little wave and a smile to Cas before leaving the mini mart. Once she was gone Dean let out a whistle.

"Damn, Cas. You weren't lyin... Good job, buddy."

"What are you talking about?" Cas returned to the empty napkin holders.

"When you said she was pretty, she is."

"Of course. I wouldn't lie about that."

Dean snickered. "She seems nice, so... What's up with you two anyways?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you together, or what?"

Castiel sighed deeply. "No, I told you we're friends."

"Right..." Dean didn't look convinced. "Call me crazy but... I don't think friends look at each other like that."

"Like what?"

Dean arched his brows. "Like you wanna tare each others clothes off."

Cas scowled. "Don't be ridiculous."

"So she still don't know how you feel, huh? Are you ever gonna tell her?"

Cas stopped and dropped the napkins on the counter. "I don't know, Dean- Why are you so interested in this?"

Now the sarcastic expression faded from Deans face and was replaced with concern.

"You got a chance, man-" He answered. "A chance to live a normal life, to leave all that crap from the past behind. Don't screw it up. Take advantage of what you got."

Castiel stared up at his friend and shook his head. "I don't even know where to begin with that. And as far as I know- Hope feels nothing for me but friendship."

"Pretty sure you're wrong about that. Now I know I just met the chick, we only talked for a few minutes- But... She doesn't look at you like a friend, man."

Now Cas' heart began to race. "What if you're wrong?"

"Take the chance-" Dean urged. "Cause if you don't and you miss out- You'll regret it."

"But... I haven't been truthful with her... I haven't told her about my past, about what I used to be. The only thing she knows is my name, I haven't told her anything else." He shook his head. "I hate lying to her, but I worry that if I tell her the truth she'll either believe I'm insane, or be angry with me for not being truthful."

Dean sighed deeply. "You're not an angel anymore. You're human now. Just think of that as a new beginning. Sometimes when it comes to certain things about your past, it's better to not say anything."

"So I should continue lying to her?"

"You're not lyin, you're just not telling her everything. And, believe me, it's better that way. Why throw all this crap on her that would scare her if there's no point?"

Cas' eyes fell to the floor. "I guess you might be right. But, that still doesn't give me any assistance. I don't know what to do- Or what to say to her."

"Just be honest, can't go wrong with that." Dean smiled. "Ok, well... I'll see you later... Dinner at your place remember?"

Cas' lips barely flinched into a smile. "Right... My place."


	6. Chapter 6

Hope had been scurrying around the kitchen since Castiel walked through the door- He offered to help but she refused, and before long the entire house smelled like the pot roast she had been cooking.

"He said he'd be here at 7:30?" She asked, pulling plates out of the cabinet.

"Yes, and I feel I should tell you that Dean is... Well, he has a tendency to say certain things that might not be appropriate."

She snickered, glancing at him from over her shoulder. "Oh so he's one of _those _guys then?"

"_Those _guys?"

"Yeah, the type that are sarcastic and a smart ass."

Cas nodded, that certainly fit Deans personality to a T. "That's correct, but don't let that fool you. Dean is a very good man."

She smiled and leaned against the bar where he sat. "Well he has good taste in friends, so- That says something about him."

His eyes squinted after that comment, unsure of how to take it. Hope didn't know any of Deans friends, the only one she knew was himself which meant that...

"Oh," He sat up, feeling his face flush red. "Well, he..." His eyes shifted nervously. "I suppose so."

Hope gave him a coy little smirk before returning to the kitchen. A few moments later the doorbell rang.

"He's early." Cas stated, jumping out of his chair.

"Well you guys can catch up in the mean time. I'm sure you got a lot to talk about."

Cas started for the door and pulled it open, just as always Dean gave a cheeky grin. "I'm early I know... I brought dessert."

He then held up, go figure, a pie- Which caused Cas to actually chuckle. "Why am I not surprised?"

Dean stepped inside and examined the house. "Nice digs, Cas- Really, you got lucky."

"Thank you, Dean."

After a hello to Hope in the kitchen they both sat in the living room and Cas tried his best to not feel awkward about the situation. Dean had been his friend for years, but things had changed- This was unusual and foreign, but he tried to convince himself he needed to adjust to it. Because as Dean had mentioned earlier- He had a chance at a normal life, and this was what qualified as normal.

They both watched as Hope pulled the food from the oven, before Dean leaned forward and said quietly.

"So, don't get pissed, but... I sorta checked her out."

"What?" Cas shot his eyes to Deans. "What do you mean?"

"Just a little research, dude- Nothin big. I wanted to be sure you could trust this chick."

Cas felt his face fall flat. "You did what? Why would you do that? Of course I can trust her."

"Considering your track record I thought it'd be a good idea, Cas. Since the last girl you trusted stabbed you in the gut, remember?"

"Hope is not a reaper intent on killing me, Dean. If she were don't you think she would have done it by now?"

"Look, I'm not saying she's..." He paused when Hope brought them both a beer, he smiled a thank you as she returned to the kitchen. "I'm not sayin she's a reaper, dude. But, you gotta admit you're naive when it comes to this kinda thing. You trust any pretty girl that smiles at you. Just, calm down, it's cool."

"It's far from "cool", Dean. I never asked you to do something like that..." He sighed, but shifted his eyes to the kitchen. "But I can understand why you did it even if it wasn't necessary. I trust Hope, she's told me about her past I know everything."

"So you know she's loaded?" Dean snickered. "That her folks died in a car crash and she inherited a crap load of money?"

"I knew that already, yes. What does that matter?"

Dean sat back and shook his head. "Nothin, man- Nothin."

After dinner was served they sat around the kitchen table and Dean for the most part made conversation while Castiel observed. He did his usual bit of interrogating without coming off as interrogating which resulted in Cas glaring at him. Yes, Dean was only doing it because he wanted to be certain Hope could be trusted, but still he felt it was uncalled for. But this was just part of Deans character- He was loyal to those he cared about and felt it was his responsibility to take care of everyone. If something went wrong, he blamed himself, if someone was hurt he felt as though he could have prevented it somehow. So after the first twenty minutes of constant questions, Cas began to ease up slightly. At least, he thought, Dean wasn't dousing the girl in holy water, so it definitely could be worse. And Hope for the most part, didn't seem to notice she was being interrogated.

"So," Dean said. "How'd you meet Cas anyways?"

Hopes eyes moved from man to man.

"Cas, huh? That's a nice nickname." She barely seemed to notice how Cas' eyes went wide after that. "And as far as how I met him, it was where he works. I would come in everyday, he'd be there... That's pretty much how it happened."

"Awesome, and after a while you just decided to be roomies?"

"Well, it was a little while after that. I think a month maybe? But yeah, basically. My roommate moved out a while back, and I was looking for someone to move in."

"And Cas won out over everyone." Dean smirked and Cas still observed in confusion. "Lucky guy."

Hope only smiled again. "So how'd you two meet?"

Cas pushed himself up in his seat and glared at Dean in a panic, but Dean remained calm just as he always did.

"Oh, man- That was, what... Four years ago? Five? I can't even remember anymore. It's kind of a long story, but... Let's just say that my life was hell, and Cas pulled me out." Hopes brows rose. "But yeah, he got me out of a tight spot."

"Dean's over exaggerating of course." Cas said. He yet again had to wipe his sweaty palms on his pants.

"Oh comon, don't be so modest, Cas. You know you saved my ass and pulled me straight outa hell."

Cas faked half a smile. "Well let's just say we helped each other a bit."

Hope could sense there was something hidden between the lines of those statements, only she wasn't certain what it could be. Clearly there were things both men weren't saying, and since it wasn't for her to pry she wouldn't question it.

"So, when will I be able to meet your brother Sam?" She asked.

Dean shrugged. "Well, he's pretty busy most days. But I'm sure he'll be headin this way sometime soon."

Overall dinner wasn't nearly as awkward as Cas thought it would be. Dean was on his best behavior and didn't mention anything that might have embarrassed him which he was grateful for. But after a few more hours of chatting he announced he had to make the long drive back home and Cas escorted him outside. They stopped next to the impala and Dean opened the drivers door.

"So," He said. "I like that Hope girl, she seems to be a good fit for ya, Cas." When Castiels eyes fell to the ground he let out a sigh. "So are you gonna tell her or what?"

"I haven't decided yet, Dean. It's not as simple as that."

"Why? Cause you think she don't feel the same way? Well lemme solve that mystery for you, she does."

"How can you be so sure?"

He rolled his eyes. "A girl doesn't come into a friggin Gas 'n' Sip everyday for an entire month unless she has a pretty damn good reason, dude. And, uh... Take a look around you. You're living in her house now, another tell tale sign, and finally- The way she looks at you... Don't tell me you haven't noticed that?"

Cas sighed and shook his head. "That's still not definite proof- You could be mistaken."

"Ok, fine..." Dean shrugged. "I tried. It's not like I can force you into anything or nothin, but... I just gotta say. You're gonna screw this whole thing up, Cas. Seriously, why mess up a good thing? What are you afraid of?"

Cas didn't answer that so Dean only grumbled.

"Well, see ya around, man. Maybe I'll swing back up here in another couple months or so."

"Goodbye, Dean." Cas finally replied. "I appreciate you're coming."

He gave one last smile before climbing in the car and speeding off. Cas lingered on the sidewalk for a good few minutes before finally returning inside. Hope was cleaning up the kitchen so he gave her a hand. The hours that passed after that went by in nothing but a blur.

It was so easy for Dean to say to just admit how he felt- It wasn't him in this situation. And Cas just couldn't seem to spit out the words. He had every opportunity, after the kitchen was cleaned and they were yet again camped out in front of the tv he could have easily started that conversation. But he couldn't. Yes he wanted to know how she felt, it was about to drive him insane, but there was too massive a fear he held that Dean might have been wrong. Hope had never said anything herself, so couldn't that very well be a sign that she held no feelings for him what so ever?

He glanced at her as she was yet again engrossed in one of her television programs. Maybe Dean was right... If there was even a slim chance she could feel the same way, maybe he should at least try. If her response wasn't positive then at least he would know, and could stop wondering.

"Hope..." He said, and she paused the tv and looked at him.

"Yeah?"

After clearing his throat, he shifted on the sofa until he was facing her. "I was wondering..."

And then the words suddenly jammed in his throat and refused to come out, so he merely sat there dumbfounded with his face like that of a confused puppy.

"You were wondering?" She prodded, giving a nervous smirk.

"Uh... Well, I was just wondering what you... What you thought of Dean?"

She nodded and lied the remote aside and Cas had never more wanted to kick himself then he did right then. He couldn't do it, he couldn't ask, so he simply blurted out the next thing that popped into his mind.

"He seems like a nice guy." She answered. "And he obviously thinks a lot of you." Now she turned to face him, sitting on her knees. "Not to be nosy though, but... It seems like there's some mystery behind you two. Am I wrong?"

"Mystery? I don't understand."

"Me either really. It's probably just my overactive imagination anyways. It just seems like there's a story to be told when it concerns you, Dean and Sam."

Well she wasn't wrong in the slightest- Of course there was a story to be told, a story that Hope would never ever hear. It was in that moment that Cas felt himself go stiff, a horrible feeling shot through him that practically knocked the breath from him. He suddenly realized why exactly it was he was so afraid of telling Hope how he felt.

It was because it would never work. He knew that, and he needed to be honest with himself. His life was nothing but constant danger. Yes, he had gotten lucky thus far with managing to avoid the fallen angels, but it was only a matter of time when they would find him. It could be tomorrow, a week from now, next year- But it definitely would happen. And what kind of man would he be if he endangered her like that? Eventually, one of these days he was going to have to leave, he couldn't remain there forever.

If he were smart the best thing to do would be to pack up and move tonight, while Hope was sleeping. Slip out in the middle of the night so she wouldn't notice. But, he just couldn't. As selfish as it might have been of him to put her in danger by remaining there, he just couldn't force himself to actually walk out that door with the intention of never returning.

When she noticed he wasn't going to respond to her last comment, she turned back to the tv and let out a yawn.

"It's getting late, and I'm supposed to go into the shelter early, so- I guess I'll turn in." She said, standing from the sofa. "Goodnight."

He swallowed a knot in his throat before saying goodnight as well, and he watched her disappear behind her bedroom door.

Well, he thought, at least he understood now. At least it made sense. It didn't matter how strongly he felt for Hope it would make no difference. He couldn't do a thing about it, and that thought was enough to ache him right down to his very core.

* * *

Cas felt a twinge of pain in his temples as he stood at the cash register- Not to mention that his entire body was aching. It was difficult to breathe and he was starting to develop a tickle in his throat that wouldn't go away no matter how much he coughed. And if that wasn't bad enough he couldn't stop shivering. He wasn't certain what was wrong with him but he couldn't help but compare it to what death felt like.

He suddenly sneezed into his arm, forcing a woman at the register to take a step back with a grimace.

"My apologizes." He said, then handed her her change. "Have a nice day, Ma'am."

The woman left quickly after and he fell back onto his stool and took his head in his hands.

"Steve." Nora said, shaking her head. "You're getting sick. I think you might need to call it a day, don't you?"

"What? You want me to leave?" He retorted, cringing at how even more gravelly his voice was beginning to sound.

"Well you're sick, and I'm pretty sure the customers wouldn't appreciate you spreading germs all over the place..." She gave a small smile. "Do you have someone that can come pick you up, it's not a good idea to walk out in the cold if you're sick."

"Hope." He barely managed to say before letting out another rib cracking sneeze.

"Right, I'll give her a call then, why don't you go and wait in the storeroom."

Normally he would object and insist he could finish his shift, but he was so dizzy and weak the only thing he wanted to do was go home and go to bed. He practically passed out at the break table in the storeroom, and when Nora announced that Hope was waiting in the parking lot he grabbed his coat, garbled some sort of goodbye and practically fell out of the building and into her car. Once he closed the door, he was shivering even more from the cold weather.

"Wow you look like you feel terrible." Hope said, furrowing her brows.

"I think I might be dying." Cas replied seriously.

She unhooked her seat belt and slid over, lying her hand on his forehead. "Ok yeah, jeez- You've got a pretty high fever. Let's get you home."

He barely heard her because he was already starting to fall asleep, and in what felt like two seconds she was nudging him awake.

"Come on, sweetie- We're back." She said and his eyes slowly opened.

"That was fast." He grumbled, then his eyes widened. Did she just call him "sweetie"?

He hobbled out of the car and followed her into the house, and he didn't hesitate to go straight in his bedroom and flop on the bed. Surprising enough, she followed.

"I'll get you some meds to take, and we need to get your fever down." She said.

He mumbled something with his face in his pillow. When she returned a second time she carried a large glass bowl filled with cold water and several washcloths.

"You're not gonna like this part." She said, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "You're gonna have to roll over and take your shirt off."

He pulled his face out of his pillows and tried to decide which person he was seeing was actually her- So far there were three Hopes.

"What?"

"We need to get your fever down." She said again. "Come on, let's just get it over with."

He did as she said and tossed his shirt on the end of the bed then collapsed back onto the pillows. If he wasn't feeling so miserable he was certain he would be extremely uncomfortable by this point. She popped open a few pill bottles and then held them out.

"You need to take these to help with the fever." She then held out a bottle of water. "And you need to stay hydrated."

Cas had to force the pills and water down without vomiting, and afterwards she brought a thermometer out of her pocket. After pressing a button on the top she held it in front of his face.

"Open."

"Wha.." His word cut off when she pushed the thermometer in his mouth and under his tongue.

"Just hold it there for a minute so I can see what I'm working with." She tried to give him a smile but he was too delirious to notice.

After it beeped she pulled it out and gave a sigh. "Wow ok. 103.3. Not good."

"It's not?"

"No, if I can't get it to go down and it gets worse you're gonna have to go to the hospital."

Had he been more coherent he might have objected to that.

"This is gonna suck, I'm sorry. And you're probably gonna feel like you're freezing to death, but I gotta cool you off, ok?"

He garbled something else as his eyes flitted closed, only to be shot open again when she started lying ice cold rags on his forehead and chest.

"I suppose this is the downside to being human." He murmured before drifting off.

Hope arched a brow at that comment but shook it off. He was delusional so anything he might say she couldn't take to heart. And the next two hours was spent with her soaking him in cold wet washcloths, until he seemed to stop shivering and fall into a heavy sleep. After he had she glanced down and noticed the tattoo on his lower stomach.

It was interesting, she had to say that much... Some sort of writing but she had no idea what it was or said. For some reason she found herself lightly tracing her fingers across it, which caused his muscles to flinch. Not long after that he started mumbling things in his sleep. She had no idea what it was and chocked it up to the fever, but it sounded almost like some foreign language- Nothing she had ever heard before. After the gibberish came actual words. He mumbled something about the apocalypse, something about a Raphael, and continuously apologizing to Sam and Dean for one reason or another. Still, she didn't think much of it because clearly it was just the crazy ramblings of someone with too high a fever.

But then he started saying something that really confused her. He was talking about heaven, and the angels, and how he was sorry for the wrongs he committed and the lives he took there. When he finally stopped mumbling and slept soundly, she let out a sigh and shook her head.

"She can't know..." He suddenly mumbled again which caused her to jump. "She can't."

Hope only rewet the washcloths and placed them back on his forehead and chest. It wasn't the first time she had heard crazy things from someone with a fever. But this was certainly the most interesting and imaginative things she'd heard.

Hours passed and after checking his temperature again she let out a relieved sigh. It was finally normal so she pulled the blankets up and covered him. Only then did his eyes finally part and he let out an uncomfortable groan.

"Hey," She said, smiling. "How're you feeling?"

He rubbed his head slightly and forced himself to sit up. "Not well." He answered.

"Yeah I bet. The flu's been going around lately, and it looks like you got it. But, good news is that your fever's down." She then grabbed the water bottle. "But you still need to drink something. Do you think you could stomach some soup?"

He choked down a mouthful of water then cringed. "I'm not certain."

"Well, any little bit helps. I'll be right back."

Once she was gone he fumbled around until finding his shirt, then threw it back on. After glancing around his room he let out a sigh. It just so happened to be the one and only time that he didn't pick up his dirty laundry from the floor, and Hope saw it. But he hadn't been feeling well that morning when he was readying for work, hopefully she would understand.

She returned moments later carrying a tray with soup, after sitting it on his lap she sat down again.

"Eat as much as you can, don't worry about eating all of it." She said.

"Thank you, Hope." He said, still cringing at how scratchy his voice was.

"You're welcome... Ya know, you said some pretty crazy things when you were out."

He froze with the spoon halfway to his mouth. "What?"

"The fever. Sometimes it can make people hallucinate, or in your case, mumble things that made no sense."

"What did I say?"

She shrugged. "Nothing that made a whole heck of a lot of sense. Something about the apocalypse and some dude named Raphael."

His breath quickened to the point he started to have a coughing fit.

"O-Oh," He sputtered. "That was nothing. As you said, just nonsense caused from the fever."

"Yeah, not to mention you saying that you killed a bunch of angels in heaven. I think you need to stop watching so many sci-fi movies." She chuckled.

He swallowed his bite of soup as his eyes shifted across the room. "I think you're right. It's causing quite unusual hallucinations... Did I say anything else?"

"Not really... Just mainly mumbling. Don't worry, you didn't say anything embarrassing."

He nodded, letting out a relieved sigh. "Aren't you taking a risk of becoming ill by sitting here with me?"

"Nah, I had my flu shot so I should be ok. Besides, someone's gotta take care of you, right?"

Despite the pounding in his head and how badly he wanted to pass out, he gave a small smile. She certainly knew how to make it difficult to keep his feelings a secret. Every second that passed she was proving all the more that she was one of a kind.

After he'd finished his soup she moved the tray and felt his forehead once more.

"Still seems to be normal, so you should take advantage of it and get some rest while you can. But expect to be bothered every now and then, because I'll be coming in to check on you."

"That's fine. I don't mind."

Long after she had left his room he simply lied there staring at the ceiling. He needed to be more careful- There was no telling what he might blurt out in his sleep. But it's not as though he could force himself to stay awake to monitor his words. He could only hope that he didn't say the words he was trying his best to keep from her.


	7. Chapter 7

**_I want to thanks for the reviews I've gotten and the favs/followers :D_**

* * *

He found it fascinating how he could sleep the entire day, and night, and then half of the next and feel as though he hadn't had enough. Hope had taken care of him the entire time, even coming in several times late at night to check on him. She had to have been exhausted by now, he figured- But she didn't stop once. Once what he assumed was dinnertime came around he was finally feeling well enough to crawl out of bed and take a quick shower. That actually seemed to help immensely and for the first time in two days he didn't feel like death warmed over.

When he emerged from the bathroom he found Hope standing in the kitchen making a pot of coffee.

"Good morning." He said, relieved that his voice no longer sounded like he had swallowed a bucket of rusted nails.

"Hey," She smiled. "How're you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you."

"Do you think you could eat a little something?"

He sat down at the bar and nodded. "Possibly."

"Ok, we're gonna start off with something light, soup should be good." After she popped a bowl in the microwave she moved over and felt his forehead. "Yeah I know, I'm like an annoying bug that won't go away, but I have a tendency to hover when someone isn't feeling well so you're just gonna have to put up with me."

He felt his heart jump in his chest. Now that he wasn't writhing under the covers delirious with fever, the thought of her being within a few inches of him was enough to make his blood rush. Being ill or not, she always had that affect on him.

"I don't mind it, really." He replied.

It just proved all the more that she was a caring person, that she thought enough of him to actually take the time to watch out for him. In a way it made him wonder if Dean had been right, if Hope really did feel something for him other than friendship. But still, he couldn't do anything about it. He had convinced himself that night after Dean left that he wouldn't tell her the truth- Because he had couldn't...

"Oh by the way." She interrupted his thoughts. "When's your birthday?"

That question took him by surprise and he struggled to come up with an answer. He didn't have a birthday of course, so he had to be quick to make one up.

"July." He answered awkwardly. "July 22nd. When is yours?"

"April 12th." She shrugged. "I'm the type of person that likes to keep track of things like that." She moved to the calender hanging on the refrigerator and flipped it to July. "How old are you going to be?"

Now Cas tried to think of a reasonably believable age, and fell back onto what he knew of Jimmy Novak. Since the poor man was gone now, and Castiel was left inside his vessel having no choice but to accept this body as his own now, he answered. "Thirty five. And you will be?"

"Twenty nine."

She jotted it down on the calender and gave half a smile. Yet again he had to tell himself that this was what normal humans did. They celebrated the day someone was born, although he wasn't certain how. He hadn't participated in that either, but he could only assume that Hope would do that somehow.

Days passed and finally he was feeling back to his old self, which meant he needed to return to work. It was the first time he had missed several days in a row since first starting at the Gas 'n' Sip, and it certainly didn't set well with him. Mainly because he needed the funds for making rent. But things slowly returned to normal, and he had been spending the entire day setting up what Nora had described was a Valentines day display. It consisted of numerous heart shaped boxes of chocolates and other candies, cards and teddy bears. Since he wasn't as familiar with holidays as he'd like to be, he actually had to take the time during his break to search about it on the computer in the storeroom. Everything he had read exclaimed it was the most romantic day of the year- The year when feelings of love were proclaimed. Many chose that particular day to propose marriage, or renew wedding vows. Others simply spent the day together by going out to dinner.

In a way it confused him, because if you truly loved a person then why should you only express such an emotion one day a year? Shouldn't you be doing it everyday? It shouldn't have required a holiday to tell someone how you felt. But it still intrigued him somewhat, and he halfway wondered if Hope was the type of woman that expected such things on that day.

As his last customer left the mini mart he felt his eyes seared onto a display of red, white and pink roses. If he were to purchase her one, would she take it in the wrong way? Would she be pleased? Or would it create an uncomfortable moment? Somehow he doubted she would be angry over it, she was thankful for everything- So no doubts she would be about that too. But, as he had told himself over and over again he couldn't admit his feelings for her, so if he gave her gifts on what was supposed to be the most romantic day of the year- Wouldn't that have been a dead give away?

No, he shook his head. Friends could give other friends valentines day gifts. There was nothing wrong with that. But what if she didn't receive it that way? What if he gave her the wrong idea, and she thought it was his way of admitting something to her?

"Steve." Nora chuckled beside him. "Just do it, you know you want to."

He tore his eyes off of the flowers. "What?"

"The roses, I know what you're thinking, so why don't you just do it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He retorted, turning away and stocking the shelves.

"You can pretend all you want, Steve- But I think you're only fooling yourself by this point. Let me make a suggestion, get her the pink roses- Because the red are overused. Think outside the box a little bit." He only gaped at her in confusion and she smirked. "You know, if you had a thing for Hope you could have just told me that when I asked you out."

"I really don't know what you're talking about, Nora."

She sighed and leaned against the shelf. "You know, you're a really sweet guy, and maybe I shouldn't say anything but Hope really needs a nice guy. Especially after what happened."

He froze with a bottled water in his hands. "What happened?"

"Oh... She didn't tell you?" She cringed slightly. "Sorry, I thought she would have by now."

"Was she hurt somehow?" His brows scrunched with concern.

"You could say that. Look, it's really not for me to say, but... Well you know about her last roommate right?"

"I knew she had a previous roommate, but that's as far as my knowledge goes."

"Well, he was... Not a nice guy, ya know? And Hope, being the trusting person that she is didn't realize it until it was too late."

"Too late?" His heart was in his throat by now.

"Yeah, he... Was crazy, was completely obsessed with her, and one night, well... I got a phone call from her, she was crying- So I drove to her house and found her... He had beat the holy hell out of her, I had to drive her to the hospital and everything. He fractured her wrist and she had a concussion. By the time we got around to calling the cops he had taken off, so we're not really sure what happened to him."

Cas was certain the color had completely drained from his face by this point, he actually had to brace himself with his free hand against the shelf and take a few deep breaths.

"I had no idea," He said, his voice quiet. "And he was never captured?"

"Unfortunately no. Last we heard he had crossed the state lines and, poof... He disappeared." She let out a sigh. "So yeah, she's had a pretty tough time. Listen, I figured she would have told you about that by now, so... Can you not mention that I told you? I wouldn't want to upset her."

He nodded and tried to calm the rage that was slowly starting to shoot through his veins.

"Of course, I won't mention it."

She smiled. "Good, so like I said. The pink ones, pick the pink ones."

Nora patted his shoulder and returned to her own duties, leaving Castiel completely floored. How could something so horrible happen, and he had never once sensed it? He halfway had the urge to hunt this monster down and inflict upon him the same treatment he had given Hope. It was nothing less than what he deserved, no... This monster deserved to be put to death. The only comfort Castiel might have felt at that moment was after this man was gone, he would be getting the punishment he deserved when he descended into hell. Which of course made him pause in thought- He never would have believed that he could actually enjoy the image of a man being tortured in the pit. He had seen what it was like first hand when he rescued Dean. It was worse than any gory nightmare a person could have, filled with blood flames and horrendous pain.

His stomach was rolling now, and he felt the remainder of his shift go by agonizingly slow. Nora had left hours beforehand, and as he was closing up and starting for the door he stopped beside the rose display. He glared down at them for a good thirty seconds before grabbing a single pink rose and leaving the mini mart, locking the doors behind him.

The walk home was short due to his practically jogging the entire way and when he started up the sidewalk to their home, he paused and took a deep breath on the front porch steps. He wasn't going to mention what Nora had told him- If Hope wanted him to know of that part of her past then he would leave that decision up to her. Honestly he didn't want to force her to relive it again, so he would keep it to himself and never ever let her know he knew about it.

After another deep breath he unlocked the door and stepped inside. First off he didn't see Hope, she wasn't in the living room but the TV was on so at least he knew she was home- Which would make sense, since her car was in the driveway. He kept the rose behind his back as he started through the living room and found her huddled down in front of the refrigerator cleaning up a spilled carton of milk.

"I'm back." He said, which caused her to jump.

"Oh hey," She smiled over her shoulder. "I had a little spill here, just gimme a second."

"Do you need help?"

"Nah, I think I got it." She stood and threw the dishtowel in the laundry basket beside the basement door. "How was your day?"

He went stiff, twirling the rose behind his back, contemplating on how he was going to give it to her and what he would say. He couldn't simply shove the rose in her hands without giving some kind of explanation, although- Considering it was valentines day maybe that would have been explanation enough? Just as always he had no idea how to handle himself in situations like this.

"I, uh..." He started, then cleared his throat nervously, finally just deciding to present the rose and see what happened to fall out of his mouth. "I got you this."

He pulled the rose from behind his back and she stared at it for a moment before her cheeks flushed red.

"Oh..." She said, momentarily startled. "Wow... Thank you."

Cas stared down at her with his brows furrowed wondering if maybe he should have said something different. Of course he fouled it up somehow, this was his first time ever attempting an action like this.

"It's Valentines day," He said, nervously. "So I thought it would be nice if I brought you something, because that's what you do, and you deserve it because you've been so kind to me, and you cared for me when I was ill, so..."

His words cut off when she reached up and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a tight hug and then a kiss on the cheek. He practically melted into her arms and actually held her back this time. This was becoming more and more painful he imagined, not to mention more difficult than anything he'd ever have to deal with. Heaven, hell, fighting and killing and running for your life seemed simple in comparison to this. He never counted on something like this happening- That he would meet the one person in the world that could make him forget entirely the centuries he'd lived in the past. The only person that would make him want to shun everything he used to be. Honestly, if Metatron appeared before him right at that moment and offered him his grace back, he wasn't certain if he would take it. How could he go back to being an angel after this?

She made this life worth living, she made humanity interesting and exciting- She made him believe that he could be a normal man with a family.

When she pulled away he physically had to stop himself from kissing her by gripping his hand on the counter.

"Thank you." She repeated, taking the rose from his hand. "This really means a lot."

Once she turned away to put the rose in a vase he closed his eyes and let out a few deep breaths. He was about ready to break, he couldn't handle it anymore. Even if everything completely blew up in his face he needed to say something, he needed to tell her the truth. He just wasn't certain on how he would begin to even _try _to do that. They make it seem so simple on television and in the movies- If a man loves... Yes, definitely, if a man _loves _a woman he just says it, but of course there were no emotions with that. It was pretend, a show for the audience. It didn't even begin to describe the turmoil and panic a real person might feel at confessing something like this. The anxiety was so strong he could feel it straight down to the pit of his stomach to the point it made him nauseous.

He actually had to excuse himself to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water, afterwards staring at his reflection.

If he was going to be honest with her about his feelings, then it was only fair that he was honest about everything else. Whether or not Dean believed that to be a mistake, he didn't care. It didn't feel right, if he loved her then she deserved to know everything. Yes, it very well might ruin anything he might have had with her, but he knew if he didn't confess it then it would eat at him until he couldn't stand it any longer. If she shunned him afterwards, he would accept it- At least he would know he had been honest.

So, he left the bathroom after getting his bearings and returned to the kitchen. Now all that needed to be done was figuring out when and how he was going to say it. Blurting it out now of all times, while she was cooking didn't seem appropriate. There needed to be a perfect moment, preferably where she wasn't preoccupied with something else.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Food was the last thing on his mind, how could he eat if his stomach was swirling? But, he lied just as he always did.

"A little." He answered. "I had a late lunch today during my break."

She nodded and finished with everything, and soon they were in their usual spot on the sofa.

Cas barely ate two bites of his food, and what little he did he had to force down. He was trying his best to form the perfect words to say to her, a way of confessing without making himself sound foolish. It would be difficult, he knew that- And chances were he'd fail a million times over. Because while he was going to confess that he had feelings for her, he was also going to make it known that nothing could come of it. Regardless of how much he loved her, it was still too dangerous to be with him that way, and it was still unfair to her. Most might wonder then why on earth would you even admit it at all? There was every possibility he would end up hurting her because of it- Which of course was something he desperately wanted to avoid.

After nearly two hours of Hope watching TV he finally concluded that there was no right way of saying this. No matter how he phrased it, it was going to end badly. His best bet was to just tell her the truth but quickly add that no matter what he felt, and if by some miracle she felt the same way, nothing could happen. He would explain why of course, and hope she considered it a just enough reason.

But just as he was going to open his mouth to speak she suddenly clicked off the tv and gave a stretch.

"That movie was awful, wasn't it?" She snickered.

Like he was suddenly smacked in the face, all traces of what he was going to say disappeared and he gave half a smile.

"I suppose I wasn't paying much attention." He answered.

"Yeah I guess it _was_ awful then," She smiled. "Are you ok? It looks like there's something on your mind."

After a deep breath he turned to face her, trying to form the words but what came out was something entirely different than what he was intending.

"I just wanted you to know that... I appreciate everything you've done for me, Hope. You've been a truly wonderful friend."

He was taken aback at that, that wasn't at all what he was wanting to say. How did that even happen?

She gave half a smile and slid closer on the sofa, looking as though she was going to reply with words. But instead, she leaned over and rose his eyes to be even with hers and pressed her lips on his. He was so stunned by the action he couldn't even move for the first few seconds, but once he finally was pulled back to reality his eyes closed and he reciprocated.

It was everything he dreamed it would be. Her lips were soft and sweet and gentle- Her fingers slid through his hair to the point it swept shivers through him. But just as soon as it began she pulled away and he felt himself let out a slight groan. She hovered there for a good few seconds and he finally opened his eyes and locked them on hers. After a smile she said "Goodnight." and left him breathless on the sofa.

For a moment he had to sit there and question if that had happened at all, but the tingle left behind on his lips was proof that it indeed had. He sat back against the sofa and gave a faint smile.

"Goodnight." He muttered to the now empty room.


	8. Chapter 8

"Thank you, and please come again." Castiel said to the elderly woman with a smile.

He didn't even notice that she scowled at him as she hobbled her way out the doors, his mood was just that pleasant. He didn't even get aggravated when a teenager decided it would be amusing to completely empty the slushie machine out onto the counter and floor. Instead he mopped it up and caught himself humming a little tune to himself as he did so. He found it comical how this day otherwise was completely disastrous but somehow he couldn't find it in him to stop smiling.

Some might consider something as simple as a kiss wouldn't warrant such happiness, but that wasn't the way he looked at it. In fact he considered it to be almost a miracle because at least he knew somewhat that Hope looked at him as more than a friend. Neither of them had confessed anything, but it was a start he thought.

That morning he woke before she did, just as he did every morning and started off for work. He wished he could have seen her before leaving the house, but he would just have to be patient. Who knows, maybe he would get lucky and she'd stop by the mini mart to say hello.

When it was getting close to the end of his shift he only just then decided to take his break- And after sitting down at the table in the back room with a cup of coffee his phone began to ring.

He pulled it out and smiled slightly once he noticed it was her.

"Hello, Hope." He said.

At first he didn't hear a response but for erratic breathing, before there was a whisper. "He's in the house... I called 911, please please. Come home."

Instantly the blood drained from his face. "What?"

"Hurry, come home, I don't know if he..."

Words cut off when he heard a loud crash followed by Hope screaming and the call cut off.

"Hope?!" He stood. "Hope, what happened?!"

He quickly fled the storeroom and didn't even bother to explain to Nora what was happening before running out the door and sprinting back towards home. By the time he ran up the sidewalk and front porch stairs his sides were aching.

The door was hanging open, looking to have been kicked in and he took a step inside. The living room was in disarray with shattered glass, knocked over furniture and magazines strewn about. Everything was unnervingly silent, and he felt fear halting him in his steps.

"Hope?" He called out, hearing nothing in return.

He started through the house quickly, noticing more broken items, and the table in the hallway was thrown across to the end and busted. He could barely hear anything aside for his heart pounding in his ears as he started searching through rooms. She wasn't in the kitchen, the bathroom, his bedroom- So he went to the last room in the house which was her bedroom. He tried to open the door but was met with resistance, for a moment he thought something might have been placed there to prevent the door from opening- But when he pushed it a little more forcefully and peaked inside he noticed it wasn't a dresser, or chair but Hope.

He squeezed through and quickly knelt down beside her.

"No, no no." He muttered, shaking her by the shoulders. "Hope?"

He felt for a pulse and let out a relived breath of air when he felt it. There was a bloody gash on her temple and a bruise on her cheekbone.

"Hope, can you hear me?" He asked again, his voice shaking to the point even he could barely understand the words.

She groaned slightly in return and started mumbling before the sound of sirens in the distance cut through the air.

"Just hold on. The ambulance is coming." He said, gently pushing the hair from her forehead and face.

Within minutes he was bombarded by police men and EMTs and as he was shoved aside they strapped her to a gurney and rolled her out. The police wanted to question him but he insisted on going to the hospital and thankfully they didn't object. But once she was rolled into the ER he was left to wait by himself in the waiting room- Only then did two police officers enter and begin with the questions.

He tried to insist that he hadn't been home when the incident occurred and that Hope had called him while he was at work, but they both seemed skeptical. Over the course of the next hour they asked the same questions over and over again. Wanting to know what she said on the phone call, what he saw or heard when he entered the house- And over and over again Castiel repeated the same thing.

"She... She said that he was in the house, and she asked for me to come home." He said for what felt like the millionth time.

"Who was it she said was in the house?" One officer asked.

"I don't know. She didn't get the chance to elaborate because there was a loud crash and then she started screaming."

"And after that you ran the distance between the Gas 'n' Sip back to the house you share with the victim?"

Cas flinched at hearing her being regarded in such away, but nodded. "Yes, I don't own a vehicle so I had no choice but to run. I'm certain if you were to speak to my manager then she would tell you that I was there during the moment Hope was attacked."

They were interrupted when a Doctor appeared in the room, she headed straight for them and nodded.

"She's suffered a concussion, three cracked ribs and dislocated shoulder. But other than that, she's going to be fine." She said. "Whoever did this really did a number on her."

"Is she awake?" Castiel asked. "Can I see her?"

"We're going to have to ask you to stay here, Sir." One officer said, holding out his arm to halt him. "We need to speak with her."

Of course he wanted to object but he couldn't so he hadn't a choice but to sit down and wait. Another twenty minutes passed before the officers returned and simply nodded to him and left. He didn't wait around anymore and pushed his way through the double doors and started taking peaks into room as he descended the long hall. When he finally found her room he rushed to her side and took her hand.

She was halfway awake already so she quickly opened her eyes.

"You don't have to speak." He said, leaning over and stroking her hairline. "Just rest."

She flinched from pain and shook her head. "The second time that bastard has tried to kill me, apparently he can't get the job done."

His brows scrunched. "Second time?"

She nodded. "My old roommate, he came back."

His jaw clenched but he didn't want to lose his temper around her. "It will be alright. The authorities will find him. He won't do this again."

"They won't find him." Tears filled her eyes. "They didn't find him the last time, they won't be able to this time either."

"They will... I promise. This won't happen again." He paused and gave a slight nod. "What's his name and description? I might be able to help somehow."

"How?" She tried to sit up but was met with another wave of pain.

"My friends... Dean and Sam. The business I told you about- They're FBI, if anyone would be able to track him down it would be them."

She let out a deep sigh and coughed slightly. "His name's David Harris, he's about six foot tall, brown hair and eyes. He used to drive an old blue chevy pickup, but I'm sure he's changed vehicles since then."

Cas nodded and gave a faint smile. "Good, I'll make sure to tell them. Don't worry, this ends right here and now. He won't hurt you again."

He kissed her forehead and eventually the affects of the pain medication forced her to fall asleep.

In between the next few hours the room was swamped with nurses and Castiel stayed by her side the entire time, until it was late enough that he didn't figure she'd wake again for the night and retreated to the sanctuary of the now quiet hallway. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Deans number.

"Hey." Dean said, somewhat groggily. "It's three in the morning, man. What's the hell?"

"I need your help, Dean. And it's a serious matter this time." Cas replied.

"What?" He could hear Dean shifting as the covers were moved. "What happened?"

"Hope was attacked."

"Attacked? By what? An angel?"

"No, at least I don't believe so. She claimed it was her former roommate. I want you to find this man Dean and do something about him. I don't care what it is. Whether you put a bullet in his head, or bury him alive, I don't care. _Do _something."

Dean let out a breath of air. "Yeah ok, we're on it. Don't worry, man- We'll take care of it. Text Sam the details and we'll get to work." He paused for a moment. "Is she ok?"

"She should be fine. But this isn't the first time this has happened. Which is why he can't get away with this. I'm standing in a damned hospital hallway, Dean- So I'm sure you can imagine what I'm thinking."

"Yeah, dude- I get it." He heard Dean snapping his fingers at who he assumed was Sam. "Like I said, text Sam the details and we'll get on it. I'll call ya as soon as we know anything."

Cas leaned against the wall, resting his head against it and stared at the ceiling. "Thank you, Dean."

"Yeah, you got it. That's what family does for each other, right?"

After a few more quiet words they finally hung up and Cas returned to Hopes side.

* * *

Several days later Hope was discharged from the hospital and Castiel had taken time off from work to care for her. She was doing better, but for the aches and pains of her broken ribs, and being forced to wear a sling for her shoulder- But other than that she was healing nicely. Still, Cas couldn't seem to work his way past what happened. He hadn't heard from Sam or Dean since he made that phone call in the hospital, so he had no idea on whether or not the brothers had found the man. Hope was on edge the entire time, and rightfully so, and at night she refused to sleep alone so Cas would stay with her, sleeping on an armchair beside her bed.

She hadn't spoken much since it happened, and he wished she would at least talk to him. Not only that but she wasn't barely eating or drinking. The only thing she wanted to do was sleep, or lay on the sofa staring at the ceiling.

He sat down on the edge of the couch where she was laying and motioned towards the tray of food he carried.

"Will you eat something, Hope? Please?"

She let out a sigh and sat up slightly with a nod and he lied the tray on her lap.

"Do you need more pain medication?" He asked.

"No, I think I'm ok for now, thanks." She took a bite of soup as her eyes trailed off towards the living room window. "You know... He said he had been watching us, for weeks."

Cas rose his brows. "What?"

"Before he decided to throw me around the house he said that he'd been watching us. I guess he wasn't very happy that I wasn't living alone anymore." She took another bite. "Bastard thought he could motivate me into throwing you out or something."

Cas went silent as he stared at the floor. That morning when he woke he was tempted to simply call in sick just so he could spend time with her. But he didn't- And this was what happened. He knew he should have been there to protect her, had he been- This wouldn't have happened and the monster that did this would either be dead or in prison. It seemed no matter what happened, whether he stayed or left, she would be in danger. And he knew now that he would never risk leaving, because she was his family now and he needed to ensure her safety. There wasn't a chance he could walk away from her now.

When his phone finally started ringing in his pocket he pulled it out quickly and answered.

"Dean?"

"We got him." He replied. "It's taken care of."

"What does that mean? Explain."

Dean sighed. "Just trust me, man. It's taken care of. He won't be botherin her anymore."

"How can we know that for certain?"

"Because his guts are spread across the back forty. We chased him down but he crashed his car headfirst into a telephone pole. Don't worry, we checked and he's dead."

"Are you absolutely certain, Dean? I need to know."

"Believe me, I wouldn't lie about that. It wasn't pretty. Seems that son of a bitch had a thing for beating up women. When we found him he had some girl pinned in an alley. That's where the chase started. If you don't believe me I'm sure it'll be in all over the local paper in Wallace in the next day or so."

Cas closed his eyes and let out a quiet sigh. "Thank you, Dean."

"You got it, buddy. How's your girl doin?"

"I'll have to talk to you about that later. And Dean... Thank you. Tell Sam as well that I appreciate this. If there's ever anything I can do for you. Just ask."

"Yeah I know. See ya later."

"Goodbye, Dean."

He hung up and tossed his phone on the sofa then turned to Hope. She had been watching the conversation in confusion but with a desperate gleam in her eyes.

"Sam and Dean found him." He said, and she immediately sighed deeply. "They were in pursuit and there was an accident. He's dead."

Within seconds she was in tears. "Are they sure?"

"Yes, believe me they wouldn't be mistaken about this sort of thing."

She kicked the blankets off of her and hugged him tightly with the arm out of the sling. "Thank you. Thank you so much. If you hadn't of been here... I don't know what I would have done." She then proceeded to kiss his cheek a million times over.

He chuckled quietly. "Theoretically speaking it was Sam and Dean that ended it, Hope."

"But it was you that was here with me the entire time, and it was you that even thought to call them in the first place. I would have been lost if it wasn't for you."

Cas went completely silent and he knew now that he couldn't hold it back any longer. He needed to tell her the truth, and he was certain it was going to be painful.

She obviously noticed the awkward tension coming from him, so nudged him slightly.

"Ok, out with it." She said, giving half a smile. "What's wrong?"

He tried to take a few deep breaths but it was instead more along the lines of short fast pants.

"I'm trying to find the words..." He said, which forced the smile to fade from her lips. "It's difficult for me."

"If something's wrong then just say it. Holding it back isn't going to help any."

He nodded. "I know, I realize that now, but... It's not as simple as that. You don't understand." He paused and couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye. "I don't want you to possibly misinterpret what I'm going to say, so... Will you allow me to just say it all at once without interruption?"

She looked petrified by this point but nodded. "Yeah, of course."

His mouth had suddenly gone bone dry, but he tried to ignore it.

"I've been battling with myself for months now, trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that I was mistaken. I've never had something like this happen to me before, so it was easy to believe the lie, but... I can't anymore, I firmly believe that if I don't speak what's on my mind then I'll go insane." He paused and he knew she was confused already, so he quickly went on. "I have very strong feelings for you, you might even say that I'm in love with you- And of course I have no idea how you might feel, and right at this moment I suppose it doesn't matter because there's so much you don't know about me, Hope. Horrible things, things that very well might force you to completely shun me from your life. I've caused a lot of pain, and no matter what I attempt I always fail. And I understand now that there's every possibility that I would fail with you as well, and I can't take that chance. I don't want to hurt you."

She was completely silent, enough so that he forcefully pulled his eyes upwards and looked at her.

"Ok, so..." She said, her voice remarkably calm. "What you're saying is, is that you have feelings for me, but you don't want anything to come of it?"

He shook his head. "No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Of course I would want something to come from it if it could, but... It can't. Because I know that I would fail you and I can't bare the thought of that."

"Why do you think you would fail me?"

"Because that's all that ever happens when it concerns me, Hope. I've failed with everything I've ever attempted. I failed my family, I failed with... What I used to be. And eventually, one day I very well might have to leave and never return because being near me is dangerous. Someone once told me that I had fallen in every way imaginable, and I'm inclined to believe now that person was correct."

He was amazed that he hadn't lost consciousness by this point from lack of oxygen.

"So you think that you're, what... Sparing me? Don't I get in a say in this?" She replied, and he fumbled for a moment. "I don't know what you did in the past, and you know what? I really don't care because that was the past, and I didn't know you then. But I know you now, and I think that I should have some say over this. You don't drop a bomb on me like this and then just expect for me to sit back and accept it, do you?"

His eyes shifted. "Uh..."

"It's not exactly fair that you tell me this and then say nothing can come of it. You're gonna have to explain it a little better than that. Because you know what?" He shook his head. "Personally I would be willing to take the risk. You say that it's dangerous to be near you, that you might leave one day and never come back. I don't believe that. Because you can run and run all you want but eventually the past is going to catch up with you. So, if you really plan on taking off one of these days, why would you even tell me that you loved me to begin with?"

This wasn't going the way he planned, and it was confusing him.

"Because I felt you deserved to know the truth." He answered.

She scooted closer and forced his eyes to hers. "Well, now I know. But did you ever stop and think that whatever this danger happens to be, maybe I would stay with you and help you through it?"

"You couldn't, Hope." He swallowed hard. "Because they would kill you without a moments thought."

"Who would kill me?"

"My siblings. They're out there, and they're hunting me. I've gotten considerably lucky thus far that they haven't tracked me down, but- It will happen eventually. And if you're anywhere near when they do, you won't survive- They will destroy you."

She let out a few deep breaths and traced her fingers along the side of his neck. "I can't force you into anything. If your mind is set on this, what can I do about it? But I just want you to know that I'm always going to be here and no matter what happens- I'll help you in anyway I can, even if it puts my life in danger because that's what you do when you love someone."

After he heard those words he let out a relieved sigh. No matter how painful it was, at least he knew that she felt the same way.

"I don't know what to do." He said. "If I were wise, I... Would leave now. But I can't."

"If the time ever does come where you think you have to run away, you're taking me with you." She replied. "Because there's no way I could let you go, not now."

"Hope... If you knew the truth..."

"Then tell me the truth." She interrupted. "If you're so sure that I would shun you then let me prove you wrong."

He shook his head. "You would never believe me. I already know that much. There wouldn't be a chance you would ever believe such a story."

"Why?"

"Because any rational human being would never believe it to be true."

She glared at him seriously. "Try me."

He wanted to tell her so badly, if you loved someone it meant being open and honest with them. But he knew what would happen and the results wouldn't be kind.

"I can't," He replied. "I'm sorry. I wish I could."

Trying to read her expression after that was nearly impossible, not that he had that ability to begin with. He never knew what someone might have been thinking by the way their eyes moved or if they flinched a certain way. He would try to observe Sam and Dean in the past, forcing Dean to complain of personal space. But at that time he had been an angel and had no idea how to relate with humans. And even now that he was human himself he was still trying to learn.

"Ok," She said finally, nodding. "Well, remember what I said. What happened in the past is in the past. It doesn't matter to me. But just know that if you ever change your mind and decide to tell me, I'll be here."

And he kept that thought in mind as the weeks flew by and eventually turned into months. Before long spring had come and apparently Hope was doing as he wanted. They admitted how they felt for each other but nothing had come of it. So, instead of letting awkwardness work its way into their lives they returned to the way it had been in the past. He continued to work as a sales associate during the days and at night he would return home to her. They would talk, just as they always did, they would eat together, spend time with each other but that's as far as it went. For the most part he was happy, but late at night once the hustle and bustle of the day had flitted away and he found himself lying alone in his bedroom- The loneliness returned, as well as the longing to be beside her and to have the one thing he never had.

* * *

Hope let out a sigh as she jotted down a list of items they needed at the animal shelter. They had been bombarded with nearly fifteen dogs and cats that had been rescued from an abusive home, which meant they were low on foods and medicines. Once she was through she handed the list to a coworker and decided to take her lunch break.

There were picnic tables set up on the lawn out front, which was usually where she would sit. And after flopping down in her usual seat, she glanced across to the new girl. All she knew of her so far was her name was Tara- But seeing her with a book her in hands immediately peeked her interest.

"What's that you're reading?" She asked, flashing a smile.

Tara tore her eyes from the pages she was thoroughly engrossed in. "Hm? Oh, this..." She snickered. "It's embarrassing actually, but I gotta admit it's one of my secret obsessions." Now she held it in the air and Hope leaned forward and read the cover.

"Supernatural?" She replied. "I don't think I've heard of that book."

"It's a series." Tara retorted. "In my opinion it didn't get nearly as much publicity as it should. It's really great, I think I've read them from front to back at least ten times."

"Wow, it must be good then. What's it about?"

"It's about two brothers, Sam and Dean, they're called Hunters. They drive around the country killing monster and demons. Really, it's not as corny as it sounds. It's incredible, trust me."

Hope arched a brow. "Sam and Dean, ha- That's funny. I know of two brothers called Sam and Dean."

"That's funny, but yeah- You should totally read these. Believe me you'll be hooked."

"Maybe I will... What else can you tell me about them?"

"You want spoilers?" Tara perked up.

"I like to be prepared for what I'm getting myself into- Especially if there's emotional trauma involved."

"Oh god, sweetie. You don't know what you're getting yourself into then because these books are full of that. Ok, so where should I start?"

"Well what's the book you're reading currently about?"

She flipped the cover over. "It's the last of the actual books, the rest are only online for download. But, it's probably one of the most horrible things you'll ever read. You sure you want me to tell you?"

Hope shrugged, cracking open a can of coke. "Remember I don't want to be emotionally traumatized."

"Ok, well... I'll just say that one of the brothers die and goes to hell. But, it's ok- Because in the next book he's pulled from hell by an angel named Castiel, who by the way, is incredible."

Hope sat back with a snicker, ok that was coincidental.

"An angel huh?"

"Yeah, it's so cute. He's kind of a dick at first but eventually he starts to think of Sam and Dean as his family, and he breaks ranks and joins sides with them and helps them prevent the apocalypse. And don't even get me started on the other angels, dude- They're horrible. All dicks, I swear."

"Angels are dicks?" Hope chuckled. "That's strange."

"Yeah, especially after the apocalypse happens and Castiel is trying to stop a war in heaven. An archangel named Raphael literally beats the hell out of him."

Now Hopes face fell completely flat. "Raphael?"

"Yeah, anyways, I don't want to ruin it too much for you. But really, you should read them."

"Yeahhh." Hope said, crossing her arms. "I think I will. So... Uh, well... What does it say these guys look like?"

"Sam is always described as being enormous, like really tall. Dean is gruff and rugged, and Castiel, well technically they don't really say what an angel looks like, but the vessel he uses, Jimmy Novak, because angels have to have vessels, he's said to have dark hair and blue eyes, and generally doesn't have much as far as facial expressions goes."

By now Hope was practically ready to jump out of her seat. And of course she tried to tell herself this was all coincidence. But her mind kept flitting off to the things Cas had mumbled over and over when he had a fever, he mentioned Raphael, the apocalypse and killing angels in heaven. And he said his last name was Novak. Ok so that meant that Cas had either been a fan of those books or she was losing her mind. Because seriously, that couldn't have been true, it was impossible. Completely impossible. These were books, dammit, fictional books- Not based on a true story.

After getting the info from Tara, and after her shift was over she found herself speeding home to jump on her laptop.

He wouldn't be home for several more hours, so she knew she had plenty of time. Still she told herself that thinking this could possibly be real was completely crazy. But the nagging in the back of her mind just wouldn't let her give it up. So as soon as she hit the door to her house she darted to her bedroom where her laptop waited and jumped on the website where the newest books had been uploaded.

When he finally returned home and she heard the front door close- She was numb all over. The last book that had been posted recently spoke of an incident in heaven, where Castiel had made the mistake of trusting a certain angel called Metatron, and as a result had his grace ripped out, which turned him into a human.

If she was going to believe this to be true, she had to admit that everything made sense now. Cas' awkward behavior, all of the things a normal human would have been accustomed to he had no idea how to respond. The way Dean had claimed that his life was hell and Cas pulled him out of it...

"Oh my god..." She muttered, falling back in her seat and rubbing her face. "No, this can't be right... They're books... Books..."

But if that were true then why was every instinct inside of her saying it was true? That the reason why Cas refused to tell her of his past was because it was this? That the siblings that were hunting him weren't actual brothers and sisters, but angels?

"Hope?" She heard him call out, followed by a light knocking on her door. "Are you alright?"

She had to swallow a good ten times before answering. "I-I'm fine. I'll be right out."

Now she needed to figure out a way of getting him to talk without frightening him. The poor guy startled easily she noticed, and if by some slim chance this was true, it could be what finally sent him packing- Which is the last thing she wanted to happen. So, she closed the website and cleared her search history and finally left her bedroom- Finding him in the kitchen where he was pouring himself a glass of juice.

"Hey," She said, trying to give her usual smile. "How was your day?"

He smiled faintly and sat down at his spot on the bar. "It was fine, Hope. Although there was a man that attempted to shoplift a few bags of potato chips. That was far from pleasant."

"Yikes, that sucks... Did you call the cops?"

"No, I probably should have I know, but- I managed to talk him out of it and he left willingly."

She nodded and pretended to rifle through the fridge. "Hey, this is a random question, and don't ask why I thought of it now of all times but- What does the tattoo on your stomach mean?"

She knew already by research that chances were the writing was what was called "Enochian" but she wanted to be sure.

"My tattoo?" He cleared his throat and she watched his eyes shift. "It's an ancient language, an ancient form of Greek. It's what's meant to be a blessing."

Dammit- She had to admit that was a pretty decent lie, so she knew she was going to have to move to the next level. She grabbed a chair and sat across from him, staring him directly in the eyes.

"Cas... Who's Jimmy Novak?" She asked now.

And what happened after that surprised her more than anything. He dropped his glass of juice which sent it shattering on the hard wood floors. If anyone looked like the deer caught in the headlights of a car it was definitely him. His eyes were wide, and the startled expression wouldn't fade because there wasn't an answer for him to pull out of the air this time.

"I, uh..." He tried to shake it off. "I've never heard of that person before, Hope... Why?"

"Really? Ok, then, um... Well let me tell you about my day-" She smiled sarcastically. "So I met a new girl at work today, nice girl, really she's pretty cool. But at lunch I noticed she was reading a book- And she explained that it was a series and how incredible they were and mentioned that I should probably give them a shot."

"Oh?" He seemed to have forgotten entirely that his juice was running down the floor boards. "And are you?"

"I wasn't going to, but then after she explained the storyline I thought it sounded pretty interesting. Especially since the main characters are two brothers named Sam and Dean."

"Hope... I..."

"And then she went on to say how there was this angel named Castiel, and I thought- Hm, well that's weird because I know Dean, and he has a brother named Sam. And well, your real name is Castiel, but the last name you gave me was Novak, which is the last name of this angels vessel. Weird, huh?"

Cas had gone pale by this point.

"And still, I tried to tell myself that this was just some strange coincidence, but then I started reading- And of course I remembered the way Dean said you'd met each other. Ya know, you pulling him out of a hellish life and all. And then there was the apocalypse and Raphael, and all of these things that happened in heaven..." She paused and arched a brow. "Do I really need to go on? Are you going to jump in anytime soon or am I going to have to recite the entire thing? But, I guess I wouldn't need to would I? Since apparently you've lived all of this."

His breathing was fast and erratic, and she was really beginning to wonder if he was going to pass out.

"I... Can explain everything, I can." He said.

"I'm listening."

He nodded and tried to work the air back into his lungs. "All of that... The Supernatural books. They were based off the lives of Sam and Dean Winchester. My friends Sam and Dean. They aren't FBI- They're what's called Hunters. Everything you suspect is true, Hope. Jimmy Novak was the devout man that agreed to becoming my vessel- That was five years ago, and over a year ago there was an incident. I was trying to fix my home, and I thought I was accomplishing that, but instead my grace was stolen from me and I was sent back to earth as a human."

Even though she was already certain it was true, hearing him actually admit it was like a blow to the stomach. She felt herself slide out of her chair and walk into the living room, where she fell back onto the sofa. Her eyes were fixed on a certain scuff on the hardwood and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't form words to respond.

"I can understand if you don't believe me. This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you- Because it sounds so completely ludicrous why would you believe it? But I swear to you, Hope- I'm telling you the truth." He added.

Still silent, she huffed out a quiet laugh and was still frozen on the sofa. He warily approached and sat next to her, and waited for the inevitable.

"So..." She finally said. "You were... An _angel_? And now... You're human and being hunted by more angels?"

"As insane as it sounds... Yes."

"So everything I was taught was a lie? Monsters are real, the devil, everything... It's all real... Wow, I don't... I don't even know what to say."

His brows suddenly furrowed. "You believe me?"

Finally she pulled her eyes from the floor and looked at him. "Somehow I do... I don't know why but I do. I mean, this isn't exactly something someone would make up on a whim. Why would you risk me thinking you're nuts just to lie about something like this?" She huffed out a breath of air and pushed the hair from her face. "I'm going to need to read all of those books."

With that she jumped up from the couch and grabbed her i-pad, returning seconds later to flop down beside him. For the next several hours Hope read through page after page, and Castiel merely stayed where he sat, answering questions if she asked them. But for the most part she was silent, her face completely stunned at what she was reading. She had started the books where he was first mentioned, and throughout the hours he had made dinner, which she declined to eat- And by the time 2 in the morning came around he was yet again sitting beside her on the sofa when she lowered the i-pad.

"I can't believe all of this happened and no one had any idea." She said. "I mean, the actual devil was up here roaming around and people didn't know about it?"

"No, thankfully. Had humanity known what was happening there would have been chaos."

"And Sam actually said yes to Lucifer? He jumped in the cage with him?"

"Yes. If it wasn't for him, the world would have been destroyed."

"Wow. Talk about taking one for the team. I can't even imagine how horrible that must have been." She sighed and rubbed her now aching head. "And... You were killed, and God brought you back?"

He nodded. "Yes, he resurrected me time after time. Often I struggle to understand why."

"Are you serious?" She snorted. "You really don't know why?"

After sighing deeply, he turned to face her. "Honestly no. I don't."

"Maybe it's because of how kindhearted you are? That instead of sticking with the other angels who were content with destroying the planet you decided to help humanity instead?"

"That might have been his reasonings in the beginning, but... You haven't read what happens next."

"Why? What happens?"

His eyes trailed off and he felt his hand slowly inching its way closer to hers. "As it was described- It was Superman going dark side. I made a very horrible mistake and the results were thousands of lives lost, not only in heaven but here on earth as well. I thought that I could stop all of the fighting and battles, but in the end I only made things worse."

"But-" She slipped her hand under his. "When you did whatever this was, did you know that would happen?"

"No, I didn't- Had I... I never would have done it. It's a miracle I'm certain that Sam and Dean managed to forgive me."

"Like I said," She smiled. "Your real family wouldn't disown you over a mistake, no matter how bad it might be."

He was still finding it hard to believe that she wasn't calling him a lunatic. "So, what will happen now, Hope. Since you know the truth?"

She sat back and made herself comfortable on the cushions then shrugged. "I think that... Tomorrow... I'm gonna start spring cleaning."

His eye squinted. "What?"

"It's gotta be done, and the weather's finally warm enough I can open the windows and get some fresh air in here. And... I think I might paint my bathroom."

"I... I don't understand? You know everything about my past and what I used to be and you don't care?"

She shrugged. "Past is the past, can't change it no matter how much a person might want to. Why sit and dwell on it." Now she scooted closer. "The question instead is, is what do you want to happen? You've been living here seven months, so is what you just told me going to make you want to leave?"

"No, of course not."

"So if you were to choose, would you want things to change or would you want things to return to the way it was before I knew any of this? Do you like the life you have now? Do you want to stay here?"

He swallowed hard. "More than anything."

"Then that's what we'll do. And if the day comes where they find you, I'll go with you. Yeah maybe I don't understand how dangerous it is, but I don't care. We can make this work if we really want it to work."

His heart had been racing so quickly and he wasn't certain when it had started. He was convinced he was dreaming when she started kissing him. It had to have been a dream. When had anything ever gone right in his life? It had been one mistake after another, so surely someone coming into his life that was as wonderful as her must have been a dream. Everything that came after only intensified. He could barely see straight when he felt his skin against hers, her breath on his neck. The way her hips moved against him was so perfect he found himself mesmerized. The quiet moans that escaped her throat and escalated into one long pleasure filled scream forced him into a blissful euphoria he couldn't come down from. When he could hold himself back no longer he felt his fingers pressing into her hips as he finally let himself go. And there were no words that could describe that moment, nothing in existence even remotely compared to it. The only thing he knew was that it left him wanting more, and he prayed it would never end.


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel was completely content with keeping life just the way it was right now. But he had to admit to himself that even though things had changed drastically, that he gotten what he wanted- He was still feeling himself awkward and perplexed. He had never been in a relationship before, he didn't know the first thing about it. And he found that he was even more so observing humanity around him to try and pick up a few pointers. Every once in a while couples would enter the Gas 'n' Sip, so he sat back and watched their interactions. Most men, if they weren't chauvinistic swine that is, opened the doors for their mates, held their hands and were genuinely affectionate. You could see the emotion in their eyes, the love or admiration they might have felt for each other gleaming to the point it was like a shining beacon. He wondered if others could see that from himself. Yes he definitely had a lot to learn, especially since after their first night spent together he assumed that the next night he would just return to his own room- Only to find out that Hope wanted him to move his belongings into hers.

But he had to admit that he certainly preferred falling asleep next to her rather than sleeping alone. And waking up to her face first thing in the morning was beyond words. And the fact that even after learning everything she still felt the same way about him was what he considered a miracle.

He also had to admit that it was somewhat embarrassing that he didn't know how to react. He never knew when to be affectionate, when or if he should hold her hand or kiss her- And he didn't have the nerve to ask her because he figured that would spoil what should have been a tender moment. Thankfully she seemed to understand and generally was the one to initiate such actions- And she would tell him to just be himself, that he didn't have to change.

So definitely, yes, he could say with a certainty that life was better than it had been in... His entire existence as a matter of fact.

"Hey, Cas." A voice rang out from behind him.

He swung around quickly from behind the register and was taken aback.

"Sam..." For a moment he was stunned to see the man standing there. He hadn't spoken to or seen Sam in nearly an entire year. "What are you doing here?"

He gave a small smile and didn't answer. "You look good. How've you been?"

"I've been very well, thank you." Now he glanced at the door. "Is Dean with you?"

"Yeah, he's parking the car. Should be in in a minute."

"How have you been, Sam? It's been a long time."

Sams smile faltered slightly, but he shrugged it off. "I've been ok. Touch and go at times, but yeah... I've been doing ok."

"I'm amazed actually at how well you are. I would have suspected the trials had damaged you beyond repair-" He smiled now. "I'm pleased you're doing so well."

Sam chuckled slightly, he halfway wondered if Castiel was drunk by how cheerful he was. When Dean entered the mini mart he didn't hesitate to approach the counter.

"Hey, Cas- Look we don't have all the time in the world so I'm just gonna spit it out, got it?" He said and Cas only squinted his eyes. "We need your help with somethin."

"My help?" Cas let out a sigh but nodded. "I'm assuming it has something to do with the angels. Dean, you know that I can't be of any assistance when it comes to them, not now."

"Yeah, don't worry- We're not askin you to go out hunting with us or anything, but... When's your shift over, we can talk about it then at our motel since ya know, we couldn't go back to your place?"

Cas moved out from behind the register. "Technically you could come back to my place. Hope knows everything now, so..."

"Wait a second-" Dean cut him off. "You told her?"

"Actually no, believe it or not she discovered the truth on her own. A coworker of hers recommended she read the Supernatural series."

Dean and Sam both grumbled. "Dammit, those friggin books I swear... So, how'd she take it?"

Cas motioned for them to follow since he still had work to do. They stopped at the coffee pots as he refilled the empty cup holders.

"Remarkably well, considering-" He answered. "Honestly I'm astonished that she didn't completely disown me and throw me out of the house. And in answer to your first question my shift is over in an hour."

Dean nodded. "Ok, well- We'll swing by then and drive you back, then we can talk."

"Alright, that's fine. I'm sure Hope would he happy to see you again, and she's eager to meet Sam."

Sam arched a brow. "Dean told me about her- She seems like a nice girl, Cas. I'm happy for you, man."

Cas smiled. "Thank you, Sam. I'll see you both in an hour."

Sam and Dean exchanged amused glances before leaving the shop. Cas made sure to finish everything before the hour was up. Once it was he locked the doors behind him and waited in the parking lot. It didn't take the boys five minutes to pull into the drive and he climbed in the back seat as they started on the drive back.

"So did you tell Hope that we were comin?" Dean asked as he drove.

"No, I didn't... Should I have?" Cas replied.

Both Sam and Dean snickered. "Might not have been a bad idea," Sam answered. "But I guess we'll see what happens."

Cas only furrowed his brows in confusion. For a moment he couldn't help but sit and think about all of the times in the past where he rode in the backseat of Deans impala. While he would admit he missed the moments he shared with Sam and Dean, he missed his friends- He could also admit that he wouldn't want to return to that life.

When they pulled into the drive of their home they had barely gotten out of the vehicle before the front door opened and Hope stepped out onto the porch. She must have heard the loud engine of the impala.

For a moment she looked partially stunned, at least when she looked at Sam. Which was easily explainable Cas imagined, she hadn't yet met him. She met Cas at the stairs while Sam and Dean lingered behind.

"Surprise visit, huh?" She asked, smirking.

"Yes, I hope you don't mind. Dean said I probably should have called and alerted you beforehand, but I..."

"It's fine, Cas." She interrupted. "Really, I don't mind. They're your family."

"Sorry about this!" Dean called out from the sidewalk.

She snickered. "Well you can tell them they don't have to hover in the background."

"There's, uh-" Cas paused and glanced over his shoulder at the brothers. "They said they need my help with a certain matter, Hope."

"Oh," Her smile faltered slightly. "Something dangerous?"

"I'm not certain just yet."

Sam and Dean finally approached and Sam gave a nod.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you finally." He said. "Dean told me all about you."

She smiled in return. "It's nice to meet you too. Well, enough standing around , huh? Come on inside."

When they entered the house Cas asked them to sit and he followed Hope to the kitchen. She leaned over the bar and asked. "You guys want a beer?"

"Oh god yes." Dean replied sarcastically.

"Thanks, I'll take one." Sam said as well.

She pulled the fridge door open and Cas cleared his throat nervously. "Are you certain you don't mind?"

"Of course," She said, grabbing two beers. "Why would I?"

"I assumed you might not welcome their presence, considering."

"Considering what?" She turned to face him.

He leaned closer and whispered his answer. "Considering everything you've learned about them. It wouldn't be the first I've heard of it. After all, a few years ago Dean was living with a woman and after a certain amount of time she couldn't tolerate the Hunters lifestyle any longer and asked him to leave."

She arched her brows. "Well I'm not that woman. Yeah, I'll admit that it's going to take a while getting used to it, but... It's who they are. They save people, you've saved people. Really, Cas, stop worrying. They're your family, they're always welcome here."

He wondered though if she would still feel that way after he found out what they needed assistance with. If it was something dangerous and he was hurt somehow, he very much doubted she would allow them back in the house.

She stood on her tip-toes and planted a firm kiss on him which instantly made those thoughts vanish, then walked into the living room and handed them their beers.

"Are you guys staying for dinner?" She asked, and both brothers seemed to fidget awkwardly.

"Uh, sure." Dean shrugged. "If it's ok."

"We don't want to impose though is what Dean meant to say." Sam corrected casting an annoyed glance at his brother. "But since he's a hog and only thinks about _food _he forgot to mention it."

Dean gave a cheeky grin. "Hey, I'm not gonna turn down free food."

Cas joined them in the living room and sat in the arm chair. "It seems as though nothing has changed when it comes to that, I see."

"What can I say? A mans heart is in his stomach." Dean took a long chug of his beer after that statement.

"I'll let you guys get down to business." Hope replied with a snicker and retreated to the kitchen.

Once she was out of hearing range Dean let out a sigh.

"Ok so here's the thing," He started. "We need you to give us the names of every angel you know, and the ones you don't."

Cas leaned forward in his chair. "All of their names? Dean... That would take..."

"Yeah, forever. I get it-" He grumbled. "But, you know them right?"

"When I was an angel of course, the names of every angel was seared into my brain, but... I'm not an angel anymore. I wouldn't be able to remember every single one of them."

"We kinda figured that-" Sam replied. "But, as many as you can then... And, uh... While you're at it. Anything else that might be helpful when it comes to weakening them. A spell maybe, or... Whatever it was that forced you out of your vessel when you got dragged back to heaven."

Cas' brows furrowed. "Why do you need to know these things? What's happened?"

"You just let us worry about that, dude." Dean smiled. "It's not your problem."

"I think it is, considering you're sitting here right now-" Cas' voice lowered. "Tell me what's going on."

Sam only shrugged at Dean in response to that.

"You're not gonna like it." Dean said.

"Just tell me."

"We, uh..." Sam leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "We managed to coax Crowley into deciphering the angel tablet, and... Well, let's just say what we found out isn't very good, Cas."

"If you're trying to spare my feelings you don't have to. I can handle it."

Dean took over now. "If he's tellin the truth, which we think he is... According to him Metatrons spell is permanent. There's no breaking it, which means it can't be reversed and the angels are stuck here for good."

"So we thought since that's the case," Sam went on. "We need to be a little more prepared than just swinging an angel blade."

Castiels face had fallen blank, and he had to take a moment to compose himself.

"And you want the names of the angels for?" Cas replied with his eyes glued to his feet.

"Insurance. We're getting the rest of the tablet translated so we're hoping there might be something on there that can help us out when it comes to the dick angels that wanna kill you, and us." Dean answered. "There's gotta be more written on that hunk of crap other than just giving us the big middle finger as far as Metatrons spell goes."

Cas nodded. "I understand. So you imagine there might be a simpler way of killing them? Perhaps something similar to the demon bombs that Kevin translated?"

"Yeah, that's kinda what we're hoping for." Sam answered warily.

"I suppose considering the situation that would be the best course of action." Still his voice sounded sullen. "Are you certain that Crowley is telling the truth?"

"Well it's Crowley," Dean shrugged. "So I guess there's a chance he could be yankin our chains, but... I don't know man- I don't think he's lying this time."

He had never counted on something like this. He assumed there would be a way to reverse the spell and allow the angels to return to heaven. That thought had given him some sort of comfort considering the chaos ensuing. To think that they would remain on earth forever, that they would always be here to cause harm and hurt.

Cas turned slightly, taking a glance at Hope as she bustled around the kitchen. His jaw clenched and his eyes turned stern. He had vowed to himself that he would protect her at all costs- And of course he wouldn't wish to see his former siblings harmed or killed, even the ones that so mercilessly hunted him. But... He had a responsibility now, and that was her.

"It will take me a while," Cas said, allowing his voice to harden. "I would suggest making yourself comfortable because this list of names isn't going to come easily."

He stood and retrieved a notebook from the end table drawer and started drawing a sigil, which he then tore out and handed to Sam.

"That's what was used to forcefully remove me from my vessel," He added. "It's to be drawn with blood, just as the others. But, the only issue with it is that it has to be large, at least three feet wide and tall."

Sam nodded and after taking a glance at it, folded the paper and stuffed it in his jacket. "Thanks, Cas."

"If you're going to do this, you'll need more than just a sigil and names of the angels."

"Yeah, we know-" Dean replied. "We got a lead on someone, someone that's supposedly got a way to help us out."

"Who?" Cas sat once again.

"A demon, Crowley gave him up. He's actually supposed to be a few towns over from here. We were gonna take off and get him after we were through here."

Cas barely heard that because he was already jotting something else down on a second piece of paper, which he handed Sam as well.

"That's the spell to recite to, in a sense, exorcise an angel from its vessel. Normally it would return them to heaven, but since that's not a possibility I'm not certain where they would go. Alastair had attempted to use it on me twice in the past, if you remember." Both brothers nodded in response. "I'll also give you any spells that might be useful, something that can temporarily immobilize them. Which was also used on myself when we were hunting the Whore of Babylon. It can be used in moments of desperation, it's quick and much simpler than trying to go head to head with an angel." He started to write that down, but paused. "You understand that I can't go with you? But I do want to help in any other way I can."

"Yeah, we know, dude." Dean answered.

Castiel shifted his eyes from man to man. "I would like to think that not all of my brothers and sisters are plotting to kill me, but I'm not holding my breath. So, you do whatever it is you need to do, but understand that it's not going to be as simple as hunting a vampire or a spirit. You'll need to be very careful. Especially once they discover whatever it is you're intending to do. You can count that they'll be charging after you even more."

So he started jotting down names now, as many as he could remember off the top of his head. Whether these angels were still alive or not he had no idea- But it didn't matter. As two hours passed and after dinner was over and done with he had filled practically the entire notebook which surprised him. He didn't know he would have been able to remember so many. As he did that Sam researched on his laptop while making frequent calls to Kevin. He wasn't certain what Sam might have been searching for, perhaps signs of angels that would have been news worthy. Some sort of destruction or unexplainable event that reporters would want to jump on. But the angels were more clever than that, other than the supposed meteor shower, there hadn't been any other sign- At least, he didn't think there had been.

Along with names were more spells or incantations that might have been helpful, and some that he figured wouldn't be. He wasn't going to skimp out on anything that Sam and Dean might find useful- He wasn't going to send them out into a battle with no means of defense.

By the time he felt his head start to ache from staring at the notebook for so long it was already 2 in the morning, and Dean had passed out on the sofa while Sam continued tapping on his laptop.

Cas rubbed his eyes and let out a yawn, glancing over his shoulder to the empty room.

"Where's Hope?" He asked.

Sam chuckled, pulling his eyes upwards from the screen. "Pretty sure she went to bed like three hours ago, Cas."

"Oh, I didn't even realize."

"Why don't you go get some sleep, we can finish all this in the morning." He then smacked Dean roughly in the arm and he snorted awake. "Let's get back to the motel."

"Yeah." Dean grunted, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"It's not necessary that you leave. You can always stay here. There's the extra bedroom and one of you could sleep on the sofa." Cas offered.

"Good idea." Dean replied, lying down instantly and kicking his feet on Sams lap. "Sorry bout this, Cas- We're probably gonna be here a couple days."

"It's fine."

"Yeah, but-" Sam shrugged, closing his laptop. "Will your girlfriend mind?"

That forced Cas to freeze once he stood from the chair. That was the first time he had ever heard Hope referred to in such a way. For a moment he was taken aback by the sheer amazement of such a simple statement.

"I'm sure she won't mind, but I'll ask her." He answered, then nodded to both brothers. "Goodnight."

"Gotta say this is trippin me out a little-" Dean snickered before Cas could leave the room. "Who woulda thought that it would be you that went civilian."

Cas laughed at that as well, it was indeed a marvel. "Sam, your room is the first door on the left. Sleep well."

He left the living room now and as quietly as possible entered the bedroom he shared with Hope. She was asleep of course so he made sure to step lightly and neatly lay his shirt and jeans on the armchair.

Up until a few days ago he had never stepped foot into her room, other than the time she had been attacked- But during that moment he didn't bother to examine it. He could say now though that it was certainly comforting.

The walls were painted a neutral gray, and every piece of furniture matched, her bed was definitely more inviting than the one he had previously been sleeping in- Although that very well could have been because he wasn't sleeping alone any longer.

He was careful to move the covers and lie down beside her, but she seemed to sense him anyhow and moved closer, draping her arm over his chest. No matter how exhausted he was his eyes refused to close, and he couldn't drift off. Eventually he felt her eyes on him so he shifted slightly until he could see her through the darkness.

"I'm sorry I woke you." He said.

"It's ok," She smiled weakly. "Is everything alright?"

He sighed deeply and stared up at the ceiling.

"Sam and Dean intend to hunt down the angels I believe. They needed my help with names and certain spells. It's going to take quite a while to finish them all, there's a possibility they could be here a few days."

She propped her head up on her hand. "Are you going with them?"

"No," He shook his head. "I'm not."

"Do you want to?"

Cas moved his eyes across the room. "No, oddly enough... I don't."

For a moment she was silent until she forced him to look at her. "Then why do you look like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're battling with your own mind right now..." He said nothing and she let out a sigh. "I know I haven't known you as long as they have, but I'd like to think by now I can read you. And, I think that there's a part of you that really does want to help them. As much as you might like your life here, there's always going to be a part of you that feels like you should be out there with them."

"I won't deny that there's a part of me that wants to assist them just like I used to, but... It's different now. Circumstances have changed too much for me to do that. I'm being truthful when I say that I don't want to leave. I'm happy here with you, I want this to be my life. But they _are _my friends."

"So what will you do?"

He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know. All I do know is that I'm not leaving."


	10. Chapter 10

Hope woke up before anyone else it seemed, and she left Cas to sleep since he had been working with the boys. After taking a quick shower she left the bedroom and made her way to the kitchen, noticing Dean was sprawled out on the living room couch- So she was quiet as she readied a pot of coffee. This was the first time she had ever had a group in her own house, but she was accustomed to having it in the past. Before she left Indiana, before the accident and her parents died, her family was the type that would gather for practically every meal.

"Mornin." Dean said groggily from behind her.

She turned after giving a little jump, he was unusually silent and hadn't made a sound when he crawled off the couch so hearing his voice had startled her.

"Morning," She replied. "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"Nah, you didn't. So I guess Cas is still sleepin, huh?"

"Yeah, he was pretty exhausted last night so I thought I'd let him sleep in."

Dean sat down at the bar and let out a long yawn. "So, thanks for letting us stay here last night. Don't worry, we'll be outa your hair soon and we'll make sure to leave early tonight and head back to the motel."

"That's ok, you don't have to do that-" She poured him a cup of coffee and sat it on the bar. "Cas likes having you here. Besides, I know that motel- And, uh... Well, it's pretty bad. I wouldn't feel right if you were forced to sleep there."

"You sure?" Deans brows rose.

"Yeah of course-" She started sifting through the fridge. "So, you hungry?"

"One of these days you'll learn that I'm always hungry, sister." Dean snickered.

After a few minutes of silence she mixed up the ingredients for pancakes but then sat them aside.

"Listen, um-" She said, nervously tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear. "I wanted to thank both you and Sam for what you did with David. I don't know the details of what happened exactly and I don't really want to know, but... I just want you to understand that I'm really grateful for what you did."

"No need to thank us. We're used to takin out monsters, so- It's no biggie."

Little did either of them know but Castiel had been lingering in the hallway listening to their conversation. Not to be a spy, but because he wanted to observe their interactions. It was important for him to know that Hope could be friends with Sam and Dean. And vice versa. So as he stood in the hallway just past the kitchen leaning against the wall he could decipher so far that it didn't seem as though they hated each other.

"Hey lemme ask you a question," Dean said, breaking the silence once more. "How's Cas been holdin up? I asked him and sure he said he's fine, but- I figured you'd be the better person to ask since you see him everyday."

Cas arched a brow as he awaited her answer.

"He's been fine, but... Can I be honest with you about something?"

"Sure."

"We were talking last night before we went to sleep, and... Well- I'm pretty sure he wants to help you guys out more. I'm not sure how, but he does."

Cas let out a quiet sigh as his eyes fell to the floor. He was hoping he hadn't given her the impression he wasn't happy there with her- Because that certainly wasn't it. He was being honest when he said he didn't want to leave, that he wanted his life to stay the same as it was right then. As much as that thought surprised him it was true- He had no desire to leave, but he still wanted to be of some assistance.

"Yeah bout that-" Dean sighed. "I was actually gonna talk to him about it. Maybe we can work somethin out... You sure you'd be cool with it?"

He heard her pour the pancake batter into a hot skillet as it began to sizzle. "I want him to be happy. So, I would be fine with it."

"You're handlin this crap a lot better than I figured you would, really-" Dean snickered. "Ya know, most normal people that find out monsters are real have a freak out."

She chuckled. "Well I'm not saying that it doesn't scare me because it does. But, I don't know... I can't explain why I'm not freaking out more. Maybe that makes me crazy or something, I have no idea."

"So you're really cool with all of this? Ok, just say Cas decided he wanted to go back on the road again, start hunting or helpin us out with this angel thing. What would you do?"

Hope sighed deeply. "I'm not going to lie and say it wouldn't scare me. Because it would. I know how dangerous it is to be out there. But I also know how Cas is and how caring he happens to be- His heart wouldn't let him sit back and do nothing, so... If he wanted to do that I'd be supportive."

"While secretly crapping your pants when you're at home?" Dean added with a smirk.

"Pretty much." She laughed. "But, like I said. I want him to be happy, and if that'll do it... I won't stop him."

Cas lied his head against the wall and stared at the ceiling. Why would she think he wasn't happy now? Because he was deliriously happy.

"Well-" Dean added, finally. "I got a plan, and you don't gotta worry about him takin off anytime soon. Really, that's the last thing I want him to do. The guy's done enough I think. Hell, he was an angel for thousands of years, a frickin warrior for God. I think he deserves a break for once."

Cas finally pushed away from the wall and waited a minute or so before entering the kitchen.

"Good morning." He said.

"Morning," Hope said cheerfully. "Breakfast's almost ready."

"Call me crazy," Dean said. "But I'm sensin a whole wife and mother hen vibe coming from your girl, Cas."

Hopes face flushed red and Cas only gave half a smile.

"It's been a while since I've had a house full of people," She replied. "I was the oldest out of all my cousins so I'm used to this kind of thing."

It was then that Cas realized as he watched her that she actually enjoyed this. She came from a large family, was used to a certain way of life and then after being disowned by that family she probably felt lost. She apparently loved taking care of people, and missed having a family to do that with- Which was obviously why she didn't object when she learned Sam and Dean would be there for several days- Not just because it would have made him happy, but perhaps her as well.

"So, Cas- There's something I wanted to talk to you about." Dean said. "Kind of like a," He paused then shrugged. "A job offer I guess you could think it like that."

Cas poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from him. "What is it?"

Dean cast a glance to Hope who was frying bacon. "The thing is, is that Kevin he's... He's pretty swamped doin everything by himself at the bunker, and we need someone to give him a hand with researching and answerin phones."

Dean awaited a response and Cas cleared his throat awkwardly. "Dean... How am I supposed to do that from here?"

"Ah," Dean sneered. "See that's the good thing. You don't even have to leave. Not only has Kevin been researching for us, but he's also been storin all the crap in the bunker on a hard drive. It's takin him forever, there's a crap load of books and documents, but- He's making his own little virtual library."

Cas squinted his eyes. "That has to be taking him an eternity to finish."

"Yeah, but- It's kinda important. Never know when something could go wrong, there could be a fire and it could destroy everything then we'd be mega screwed, so... He started doin that a few months ago, we help him out when we're there." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flash drive and waved it in the air. "Makin good progress I think." He then lied it on the bar. "So, if you said yes anyways, what you would do is help us out if something's going on that we can't handle. Help Kevin out with the research, get some phone lines installed."

A snicker escaped Cas' throat and he shook his head. "So you want me to become the new Bobby?"

"Not a bad deal if you ask me. You get to stay here, keep goin on with your normal life working at the gas 'n' sip, and every now and then you'd be helping us out. It's not like you'd have to go on the road with us, actually we'd need you here running the phones just in case."

Cas began to tap his fingers on the bar, feeling a jolt of adrenaline shoot through him. In all honesty that plan was actually completely perfect. Yes he was happy with his life here and didn't want to leave, but he did want to be of some assistance too.

"And, uh..." Dean added. "If it's not a problem, you'd be givin us a safe house every now and then. Say if we're in the area- It's too long a drive back to the bunker if we're in a tough spot. It could be helpful."

Hope suddenly turned around from the stove. "You mean if you're hurt and need a place to go?" Dean nodded. "That might actually not be a half bad idea since I'm a registered nurse."

"What?" Cas shifted on his chair to look at her. "You never told me that?"

"Well, it's not like I work at the hospital. I did for about a year and you'd be surprised how hard it is to deal with unruly patients. After a while I ended up rather wanting to deal with animals at the shelter, so I quit. Being a nurse wasn't for me." She shrugged. "But yeah, I mean- If you agreed to that Cas- Maybe I could be of some help every now and then too."

"See," Dean grinned. "It's perfect. What you say, Cas?"

Cas was trying to resist the urge to start grinning.

"I think it could work." He said instead.

It really was the perfect job for him. He could have what he wanted, which was Hope and a home, and continue to help his friends. The normal life he was growing to adore would still be there, and the farthest he would return to his former life was by researching and making or answering phone calls.

And days after Sam and Dean had went on their way- They had several phone lines installed, and Castiel was adjusting to the library on the flash drive. Life went on as usual, so far he hadn't been contacted by the brothers which meant researching was on a stand still for now. But he didn't mind, because he was still trying to understand what exactly he was doing with Hope and their relationship. She had told him to just be himself, that he didn't have to change for her- But often at times he wondered if he should. She deserved someone that was at least partially normal.

So he tried not to be so awkward about the entire thing. He would try to hold her hand every now and then while they were sitting on the sofa in front of the television, or he would initiate a kiss before she could do it. Although he had to admit he still felt as though he was invading her personal space when he did so. Probably because he chose inopportune times to do it- For instance, while she was standing at the stove stirring soup or if she had just climbed out of the shower. If he were to go by what he saw on television, the men always seemed to wait for what seemed to be a "romantic" moment to do such things. But he didn't know what would be considered romantic.

Another thing he was trying to work his way up to actually accomplishing was asking her on a proper date. They hadn't went out together since Christmas night, which he felt was incredibly wrong- Because didn't couples do that sort of thing frequently? Or, if they were already living together and saw each other on a daily basis anyhow, would that be required? He simply didn't know and it was making him feel like an imbecile. But even through out the troubles he was having in trying to decide what was right or wrong, she didn't seem to be the slightest bit fazed. He observed her frequently when she wasn't aware, and it seemed as though she was happy- And she never once complained.

As he observed her at that moment though she seemed to be irritated- She had been on the phone with the animal shelter for nearly twenty minutes, and over and over again her expression shifted from annoyed to what he could clearly say was angry. By the time she hung up he was standing awkwardly at the bar with his head cocked to the side.

She let out a huff of air before finally noticing him standing there. "Apparently they're having a fundraiser at the shelter tomorrow, and I have to be there."

He squinted his eyes. "And... You don't _want _to be there?"

"It's not that, of course I want to help out, but... The thing is, is that this money is for building and moving the animals to a new shelter. One an hour away from here- Which means, I'm not gonna have a job anymore." She shook her head. "They're closing down the shelter."

He was going to try and understand why she was upset before commenting. Clearly it couldn't be because she wouldn't be getting a weekly paycheck any longer- Since she had plenty of money from her parents inheritance. So, what could it have been? He finally concluded that he had no idea why she was upset.

"Are you worried that you won't be able to find employment elsewhere?" He asked.

"No," She sighed sadly. "I've been working there for the past three years. I like it there, it's practically my second home. I like taking care of the animals. It's just depressing I guess."

"Why are they closing it?"

"Because it's too small, and there's a lot of repairs that needs to be done. They figured it would just be easier to build a brand new place. I heard that they're thinking of selling the property to some motel chain, they're gonna demolish the place and build some crappy motel on the land. The shelter is run pretty much on donations and what we charge to adopt out the pets. So it's not like there's a ton of money to throw around out there."

And then Castiel had what he thought was the most brilliant idea he'd ever conjured up so quickly. If she agreed with it, it would certainly make her happy.

"Why don't you buy the property and run the shelter?" He announced.

For a moment her jaw dropped slightly.

"Me?" She breathed out. "I... I don't know, I mean- I thought about it, but... That's a lot of work. Right now I'm only working part time, if I ran the place I would be gone constantly, all day everyday probably."

Alright, he said to himself, perhaps that _wasn't_ the most brilliant idea he'd ever conjured up. In his opinion he didn't see her enough as it was. He was awake and at the mini mart at 6 in the morning, and didn't return home until late most days, and it was everyday but Saturdays. But... He couldn't very well tell her she couldn't do it, especially if it's what she wanted and it would make her happy.

"I think you could accomplish that, Hope." He said, giving a faint smile. "If it's what you really want."

She chewed her lower lip for a moment. "I don't know... Maybe. I guess I gotta think about it a little more. I have until tomorrow after the fundraiser." She then smiled. "Which, by the way, I'm encouraged to bring a guest with me. So, if you wanna come after your shift's over you can."

Cas fidgeted for a moment. "A guest?"

She nodded. "Yeah, we're supposed to bring as many people as we can to try and bring in more donations, but it's not required. Just people showing up is enough. You don't have to come if you don't want to..."

"I want to." He quickly said. "Of course I do."

Her response to that was giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Ok, well, it starts a little after four, but you can show up early if you want. I know your shift's over at 3:30, so... It's up to you."

Now he figured would be one of the proper moments he was waiting for. So he leaned over and gave her a nice long kiss.

* * *

Castiel stared at the crowd with his eyes slightly wide. He hadn't expected for there to be so many people at this fundraiser Hope spoke of. But there was. Nearly one hundred people, maybe even more he wasn't sure. Everyone was either talking in small groups, or wandering around the grounds and eying the dogs that were in outdoor kennels. Right off he didn't spot Hope, so he nervously worked his way through the crowd inspecting every face he saw. A few people nodded and said hello, the rest mainly seemed to not even notice he was there.

There were several tables set up in the front lawn, some which held food and drinks, the others where people could make their donations. Just as he was starting to feel like a fish out of water he finally spotted Hope standing off to the side of the crowd chatting with her own small group. Seeing is that they were all wearing matching white jackets, he figured they were her coworkers. He hesitated walking over, not wanting to interrupt the conversation- So he lingered in the background for a moment until she finally looked over and spotted him. She quickly excused herself from the group and made her way to him.

"Hey, I'm glad you came." She said, smiling.

"I'm sorry I'm late, but there was an incident with the soda fountain, it exploded and I had to clean up the mess." He replied.

"No problem. I'm just happy you're here." She grabbed his hand and pulled him through the crowd until they were a good distance away and lingering just near the picnic tables. "I wanted to talk to you... About what you said last night."

He struggled to remember what was said that last night, the only thing that kept flashing through his mind the entire day was the actions that took place in bed.

"I said what exactly?" He wasn't certain how long he had been dazed out thinking of those actions, but it was apparently long enough for her to tug on his shirt sleeve to get his attention.

She chuckled, noticing his face had flushed red. "You know, how you suggested maybe I buy the shelter?"

"Oh," He had forgotten entirely that he ever mentioned that. "Of course. And did you make a decision?"

"Maybe, I was talking with one of my coworkers, and she really doesn't want to see this place go either. We were thinking of maybe teaming up and buying it together. That way, we would both be responsible and I wouldn't be nearly as swamped."

"That might be a..." He trailed off when he noticed someone watching them from the crowd, for a moment he didn't think much of it. "That might a much simpler for you. And maybe less stressful."

"Yeah, I thought so too." She squeezed his hand. "But I didn't want to do anything without talking to you about it first."

His eyes were now transfixed on this figure in the crowd. It was a man with dark hair and eyes, wearing a deep blue hoodie. He seemed normal enough in appearance, but it was the fact at how harshly he was glaring at him that had him on edge.

"Hope," He pulled her farther from the crowd. "Do you recognize that man?"

He nonchalantly motioned across the way and she took a quick peak. "Who? The guy in the hoodie?"

"Yes, do you know him?"

She arched a brow then shook her head. "No, not by name. I've seen him around town a few times... Why?"

Now he started to pull her farther away until they reached the shelter, when he found the front door he pushed his way inside past a few people. He glanced over his shoulder once or twice to see the man was right on their heels, so he started to panic.

"Where is there a place we can go that's private?" He asked.

She noticed his tone and furrowed her brows. "The offices in the back, why what's wrong?"

He started walking again, dragging her with him until they descended a hallway that led past an indoor area where cages were full of cats. When he saw a private sign on a door he pushed it open and quickly darted inside. Once there he took a good look around, noticing a desk with a letter opener lying on top. He locked the door before grabbing it and cutting a large gash in his forearm.

"What are you doing?!" She shrieked.

He ignored the question and instead started drawing a sigil on the wall with his blood, all the while Hope was watching in horror. When the door burst open and the man took a step inside, Cas quickly slammed his hand down on the sigil but nothing happened.

"Sorry, buddy-" The man said, smiling. "Not an angel."

When his eyes went black Cas felt his own go wide. He moved Hope to stand behind him and pulled his angel blade from his jacket.

"Calm down, calm down." The demon said, holding his hands up in the air. "I haven't come here to fight you, Castiel."

"Who are you?" Cas retorted.

"Name isn't really important is it?"

He could hear Hopes quick breathing behind him, as her hand squeezed his to the point it ached.

"Why are you here?" He asked now.

"Heard a rumor that you were in the area and thought I'd check it out." He stepped inside closer and slammed the door. "You're friends with those Winchester dicks. I thought maybe you could tell me what they've done with our King?"

"Crowley?" Cas shook his head. "I have no idea where Crowley is."

"Now why don't I believe you? They've been here recently, I know that. And you're going to tell me where Crowley is, or I'll gut your bitch while you watch."

He pulled a knife from his hoodie now and waved it in the air.

"If you lay one hand on her," Cas growled. "I swear to..."

"God?" The demon smirked. "Pretty sure he doesn't have much to do with anything anymore, Castiel. Ok, look. We got off to a bad start, so let's try again. Now, you tell me where Crowley is, and I won't kill your bitch. Deal?"

"I told you. I don't know where he is. Sam and Dean didn't tell me what happened to him." Cas felt his heart racing inside his chest. "Listen, I'm not in a position to lie to you. I have no powers left, I'm not an angel anymore. You're at a much greater advantage than I am. Why would I lie abut this?"

"I don't think you would. Unfortunately you caught me on a bad day."

With that the demon waved his hand and Cas was thrown across the room and slammed against the wall. His angel blade slid across the floor and landed just in front of the desk. As soon as the stars left his vision he started screaming and begging for the demon to stop but he didn't listen.

Hope seemed to be frozen in fear as he moved closer and he yet again flicked his hand again, only... Hope didn't fly. Yet again he tried but it seemed she was rooted to the ground. Cas didn't have the chance to wonder how that was possible, because the demon only became irritated and lunged at her. They both collided to the ground and Hope started kicking and screaming.

In between the moments of sheer terror and hopelessness, Cas suddenly stopped struggling when with a swift kick to the demons abdomen Hope sent him thudding to the ground. With a few quick moves she grabbed the angel blade but before she could stab him he suddenly opened his mouth and with a horrible wail black smoke shot out and burst out the window. Hope ducked to avoid it, and within seconds it was gone and the man he had possessing collapsed to the floor- Followed by Cas, who hit it seconds later.

He scrambled back to his feet and darted to her side, examining her from head to toe.

"Are you hurt?" He asked.

She shook her head, still trying to break of the shock. "N-No. I'm fine... Are you?"

Cas didn't answer and instead pulled her into a hug. His mind was spinning now, trying to understand what just happened. How exactly that demon didn't have the ability to throw her with his powers, but had no issues what so ever doing it to him. He only broke of the trance when the man who had been possessed started to groan from the floor, then sat up and groggily asked.

"Where am I? What happened?"


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel watched Hope as she drove, unable to ignore the fact that she seemed remarkably calm considering what had just happened. Of course there was a shaken look to her expression, along with confusion- But he figured she would be more panicked than this.

"We can't go home." He stated, turning his attention to the road.

"What?" She jerked her head towards him. "Why not?"

"That demon escaped, Hope- He probably knows where we live, which means he'll come back." He let out a sigh. "We won't be able to go back there... I'm sorry."

"Ever? You mean we can never go back?"

He shared a glance with her before shaking his head. "No, there's every probability that he's alerted others of where I'm located. And, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the angels as well catch wind of what happened. We can't go back."

She nodded slightly, and he finally caught an emotion on her face, but it wasn't fear- It was anger.

"Ok, fine." She blurted. "We can't go back. So, where can we go?"

"Start driving for Kansas."

"What's in Kansas?"

"There's a place there, a bunker, Sam and Dean live there. It's completely safe from all things supernatural. No one, whether it's a demon or an angel, will be able to find us there."

Her fingers began to nervously tap on the steering wheel. "Don't you think you should call and let them know we're coming? Or at least ask them if it's ok?"

He didn't respond to that and instead kept his eyes fixed on the outdoors. He couldn't exactly tell her that Sam and Dean very well might not allow them in the bunker. Dean had asked him to leave because he brought danger to them, so why would he be inclined to change his mind now? He wouldn't. But, Castiel needed time to think- Just in case Dean did turn them away he needed to figure out a way to keep them both safe.

They drove for several more hours until Cas deemed it safe enough to pull over so Hope could retrieve money from an ATM machine. They had rushed away from the shelter after the demon attacked them, and while she managed to grab her purse she didn't have much money. He knew it was dangerous to actually let her do that, it would leave a trail for anyone to follow- So he made sure to explain that this was the only time she could do it, so to take as much as possible.

While she did that he took a few good steps away and called Dean.

"Hey." Dean answered.

"Dean, something happened. A demon attacked us." Cas replied.

"What, a demon? What happened?"

"I can't discuss that now. We can't go home- We've been driving for hours..." He let out a sigh. "We need help."

"Start for the bunker. Sam and me are in Illinois right now, but we'll head on back once this job's done. We'll tell Kevin that you're comin."

Dean obviously heard him give a relieved sigh. "Thank you."

"Yeah, just keep drivin. We'll see you when we can."

After he hung up they jumped back in the car and started off once more. Hope had managed to withdraw several hundred dollars, which would last them a while if they went sparingly. Since they wouldn't be stopping to rest at a motel and would be making the drive nonstop, all they would need to do was stop and fill the car up with gas, maybe grab something to eat and take off again.

She was unusually quiet during the drive, and Cas tried to wonder if perhaps she were regretting ever meeting him. Before he came along her life was normal. She had a job that she loved, a purpose in her life, a nice home- And now... Now all of that was gone.

"So who's Crowley?" She asked, breaking the silence. "Why was that demon so sure that you'd know where he is?"

"Crowley is a demon, but not just any demon," Cas answered, he had promised himself that he was going to be completely honest from here on out. "He's the King of Hell. And I assume he thought I knew his location because I'm friends with Sam and Dean. And to my knowledge, they were the last people to see him alive."

"Do you know where he is?" She glanced at him warily.

"No," He shook his head. "I don't know where he is. But I'm certain Sam and Dean do."

"So, King of Hell... I'm guessing that he's a million times worse than the asshole who attacked us, right?"

"Yes... Crowley is cruel and wicked and capable of anything. But I do know that Sam and Dean wouldn't have let him escape. So, he's either dead, or they've got him subdued somewhere. Possibly the bunker, I don't know."

He was barely aware of the words he spoke right then. The only thing he could focus on was how the demon was unable to throw Hope across the room. He had only ever encountered a seldom few individuals that seemed to be immune to something like that. One, was Sam- But the only reason that was possible was because he had been infected with demon blood as an infant. That couldn't have been why with Hope. He would have known about her. Azazel had a very specific sort of person he would target for his schemes, and Hope didn't fit that profile. But he just couldn't shake the eerie feeling he had. All of the times in the past when he was convinced he knew her somehow. The familiar jolts he'd receive when looking into her eyes. It wasn't possible, and yet he couldn't convince himself of that.

She wasn't a demon or an angel either- If she was he would have smelled the sulfur, and the demon that had attacked them would have sensed it and made mention.

Maybe it was just a fluke? He thought now. Maybe it was just a random fluke that the demon couldn't throw her. He had to admit that he was shaken up after hitting the wall, his vision had clouded over momentarily- Perhaps he was only mistaken about the entire thing. But, if that were true then why did he have this feeling in his gut. A feeling that was telling him that there was more to Hope than meets the eye. She was more than just a sweet kind girl from a small Indiana town, more than just an employee at the animal shelter. But, if there was more about her that he didn't yet know, he was positive that Hope would have told him about it. She seemed genuinely surprised to hear about angels and demons and the supernatural world.

He felt his eyes shift over to her as she drove as a thought struck him. She had been surprisingly calm after he told her the truth about his past. She accepted it as truth and never once questioned it. To him, that wasn't the way a normal person would react. He had seen the reactions of normal people when they were bombarded with such things. They panicked, they screamed, they tried to convince themselves that it was a lie and everyone around them were crazy. Hope didn't do that. She simply read through several of the Supernatural books, let it all soak in and then moved on. At the time he convinced himself that was because she cared about him- And you do whatever you can for someone you love, even if it's accepting something that sounds completely ridiculous.

As guilty as his next thought made him feel, as much as he absolutely hated to even let the thought go through his mind- Let alone actually sharing it with Sam and Dean, he knew he had to. He wouldn't be able to rest until he knew for certain that there wasn't something more to Hope that he or the brothers couldn't sense.

* * *

Once they pulled into the long drive that led to the bunker door, Hope let her eyes shift all over the property before falling onto the door.

"Their car isn't here." She stated.

"No, they're away on a case. They'll be back as soon as they can." Cas answered.

She parked the car and let out a sigh. "Are you sure it's ok that we're here when they're not?"

"Yes, it's fine. Kevin knows we're coming."

"Um." She shifted to look at him. "Who exactly is Kevin?"

He flinched when he realized he hadn't even explained about Kevin. "He's a prophet of the Lord. He's considered family now."

"Oh..." She trailed off, looking at the door like it was a passage of no return. "Are... Are you sure this is ok, Cas? I mean... We could be leading danger right to their door."

"This place is in an area that's protected for miles. Nothing can sense us here."

"Kinda like the Bermuda triangle?" She arched a brow.

He gave half a smile remembering that Sam had described the bunker that way more than once. "Yes, I suppose it is like that."

"You sure there's enough room for both of us? A bunker sounds like it's gonna be small."

Now he snickered. "Trust me, there will be plenty of room."

She had no choice but to believe him as she followed him from the car and to the door. He knocked several times over before a skittish voice from the other side called out.

"Castiel?"

Cas recognized it was Kevin immediately.

"Yes, it's me." He called back.

The door creaked open and Kevin peaked out at him, then let his eyes trail over to Hope.

"Hey, Dean said you'd be coming. Come on in."

He felt Hope grab his hand, and almost as though he could sense what she was thinking he pulled her closer. She was nervous, she was afraid, finally. For once he could tell that she was afraid of something. In a way it actually eased his conscious some, because at least she was responding like a normal person. He tried giving her a reassuring smile as Kevin descended the stairs from the balcony.

"It's fine, Hope." He said. "This place is safe."

She nodded and let out a deep breath before following him inside. Once they stopped at the bottom of the stairs and she could see just how massive this place was her eyes widened.

"Ok, wow." She breathed out. "I was expecting something more along the lines of a bomb shelter. Not a... Well, whatever this is."

She stared at the library in front of them, the dozens upon dozens of books on ceiling high shelves and the various weapons and other things placed as trophies or decor. Kevin stood awkwardly beside the table where the angel tablet sat.

"Uh," He said. "Dean said you can take a pick from the bedrooms. Get settled in, eat or whatever."

"Thank you." Cas replied. He had to admit it was strange being back here again. "Do you know when they'll return?"

"They're on their way back now," Kevin answered. "It might be a couple hours. I'm not sure."

Cas led the way from the library and to the hallways leading to the bedrooms. There were several to choose from, but he happened to pick the one he had for the short fleeting time that he was at the bunker last. After opening the door, he stepped aside to let Hope enter first- Which she did hesitantly.

"I know that it isn't like home." He sighed. "But it will suffice, correct?"

"It's fine, Cas." She tried to smile but he could tell it was forced. "Do you know... Well, exactly how long we'll be here?"

He hadn't the heart to tell her that they very well might be there permanently- That there wouldn't be a chance that they could return home to their previous life. So, just as he had done so many times in the past- He lied.

"I'm not certain. Hopefully not long. As soon as Sam and Dean return they'll help us figure out a way out of this."

She nodded and then gave him half a smile. "You don't have to humor me, Cas. You can be honest."

He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. "You won't be happy with the answer."

"I'm already suspecting what you're going to say, so... Just say it out loud."

His eyes trailed away and he found he couldn't watch her expression as he answered.

"Chances are very likely that we won't be able to leave here. Not now. That demon would have alerted more demons of my whereabouts as I said before. And, if that happened, then it won't be long before the angels know it as well. We can't take the risk of leaving, or of trying to make a home elsewhere."

She was silent, which is what he was expecting, and when he finally had the nerve to look at her, her eyes were fixed on the bland walls.

"Well, you said this might happen." She replied. "You said that we might have to leave, so... That's it then." Now she shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed. "It was just a house. Belongings can be replaced, all that matters is we're both safe."

But he wasn't certain if she were only humoring him now. Her tone was quiet and sullen, and he was definitely convinced she had to have been regretful of meeting him. She would have never counted on her life being this way, it certainly wasn't what she deserved.

"Hope there's something I need to ask you." He said, sitting down beside her. "About what happened at the fundraiser."

Now he figured was the best time as ever to ask her about the incident. Even though he was almost positive she would have no explanation.

"Ok, what about it?"

"First of all... You seem to be handling it much better than I would have figured. It was a demon that attacked us- Now maybe I'm mistaken but in my experiences when normal people encounter a creature like that, they're a little shaken up once it's over."

She sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"So... Why are you so calm about all of this?"

After shifting on the bed to stare up into his eyes, he watched her brow arch.

"Because it's not the first time I've come into contact with a demon." She answered.


	12. Chapter 12

Stunned into silence would be the proper term Castiel would use to describe how he was after that statement. And for an instant he questioned whether or not he had actually heard her correctly. She had been in contact with a demon in the past? This wasn't the first time she had ever heard of something like that even existing?

"What?" He finally croaked out. "What do you mean it wasn't the first time?"

"It's kind of a long story," She sighed. "I know I probably should have mentioned it before, but... I didn't know how. I mean, in the beginning it was because I had no idea what you used to be, and then after I found out... Well, how the hell do you bring that subject up, huh?"

"What happened?"

"My Uncle was a Pastor, he used to preform exorcisms. Every once in a while I would go with him to help out after his wife came down with stomach cancer. Honestly, in the beginning I thought it was a bunch of crap. I mean, you see these things on tv and in movies- So I figured it was just a show. Ya know, these people convulsing on the floors, foaming at the mouth and shrieking at the name of Jesus Christ. It was all crap." She sighed deeply. "But then we came across one man that obviously wasn't faking. It scared the hell outa me. It was like a slap to the face once I realized that there really was such a thing as demons."

"And your Uncle exorcised this demon?" His brows furrowed.

"He tried... But, I don't think my Uncle knew either that demons were real. All of the supposed "exorcisms" he did in the past were obviously just some crazy people wanting attention. It was nothing like this last guy. He said that he was just the beginning of what was going to be a demon army. And they were looking for soldiers. He said something about special children that had already been picked especially for what was coming in the future."

Cas had gone stiff by now, knowing instantly she was referring to Azazel, but just to be sure he wasn't mistaken, he remained calm and asked. "Did this demon give his name?"

"No," She shuddered. "I actually have no idea why he even sat there and spoke to us at all. It's not like we had a way to trap him or kill him, or even exorcise him. He didn't even flinch when my Uncle threw holy water on him. But... Name or not, it didn't matter. Just looking at his eyes was bad enough- That's all I wanted to know of him."

"They were yellow?" Cas asked, and Hope immediately went wide eyed.

"How'd you know that?"

"His name was Azazel, if you would have read through the previous Supernatural books you would have seen he was mentioned. He was affiliated with Lucifers uprising." She had gone pale by this point so Cas took her hand. "What else did he say to you, Hope?"

"Uh," She garbled. "T-That he was looking for a particular child. One that had somehow slipped his grasp, he said."

"He must have been referring to Sam." He replied.

"No, I don't think so. He said this child was a female. That she had been chosen for a specific purpose. But he didn't say what it was." She shook off the shock. "He took off shortly after that, but not before beating the hell out of my Uncle."

"And he never returned?"

"Not that I know of, no. After that my Uncle was bedridden and was forced to retire. I never went with him on anymore exorcisms and I pretty much said goodbye to anything that had to do with religion. Kinda understandable, right?"

"I suppose so."

Castiels stomach was rolling by now, his heart rate speeding so quickly he thought he might pass out. He had no doubts what so ever that Azazel was after Hope. That she was this female child he was looking for. It would explain why the demon from the day before hadn't been able to use his powers on her- Because chances were she had demon blood coursing through her veins.

The only discrepancy was the year she was born. Sam had been born in 1983, Hope was born a year later. He knew that Azazel had targeted dozens of children during the year 1983. But he hadn't been alerted of any activity on earth after that, at least not for a very long time. Could she have been the one and only child that Azazel had tainted during that year? And if so, why? What purpose would he have to poison _one _child with demon blood?

Now he didn't know what to think or do. Of course he wanted to explore this more- To find out why Azazel would have wanted her, regardless if he was dead now or not. Lucifer had been back in his cage for years now, so whatever reason Hope was wanted was null and void. The demons would no longer be hunting her obviously, because if they were they would have found her by now. She wouldn't have been living a completely normal life otherwise.

"Are you ok?" She asked, tugging his hand lightly. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about that, but... I didn't know how."

He stared blankly ahead before nodding. "I suppose that explains why you were so willing to believe everything I told you about my past."

She sighed. "Well, honestly- I was pretty damn surprised to hear that angels existed and you had been one of them. And up until you told me about that, I was actually wondering if that Azazel demon was even a demon at all. I mean, I had no proof- Just his word, he could have been a nutcase for all I knew. After you told me the truth, I don't know... I think I faked sanity just to cover over the fact that what happened back then was actually real."

He nodded. "I understand that."

"I can understand if you're pissed at me for not telling you."

"No," He turned to her. "I'm not angry. I'm just surprised because Azazel wasn't a normal demon. He was powerful, and he was the one to..." He trailed off, wanting to slap himself for slipping. "He was the one to infect Sam with demon blood, so that he would grow to have abnormal abilities, and in turn would break the final seal to release Lucifer from his cage."

Hope was going to respond when they heard voices coming from the library.

"Seems as though Sam and Dean are back." He said. "I need to speak with them, why don't you get some sleep. You must be exhausted from the long drive."

She nodded slightly, staring at the bed with a blank expression. "Yeah I guess."

"I'll try to join you soon." He kissed her forehead and then her lips, thankful that he didn't feel any different towards her than thirty minutes ago.

Of course he wouldn't. It would take something much more than this to alter his feelings, in fact he wasn't certain there could be anything at all that could change how he felt. Even if he was right about what he suspected, it wasn't her fault. She was just a child, and couldn't have stopped what happened to her. Demon blood or not, she was a good person and that was all that mattered.

He left the room and returned to the library where Sam and Dean were dropping their duffel bags.

"Hello, Dean... Sam." Cas said.

Dean arched a brow at him, casting a look to Kevin which he read instantly. "I, uh... I'll just go read this in my room." Kevin said, then grabbed the tablet and scooted out of the library.

"So, Cas-" Dean said, flopping down at the table. "Tell us what happened."

Cas sat as well and shook his head. "A demon appeared at a charity event for Hopes animal shelter. He cornered us in a back office. He assumed that I would know Crowleys location, and when I told him I didn't- He didn't respond kindly."

"Damn-" Sam replied. "Are you guys ok?"

"We're fine. Hope wasn't hurt, and but for a few bruises I should be alright." He shifted his eyes to the empty hallway, lowering his tone. "But something happened. Something that I'm having a very difficult time at explaining."

"What's that?" Dean asked.

"The demon, he... He tried to use his powers on Hope, he tried to throw her across the room but couldn't. For some reason his powers had no affect on her-" He paused. "But before you question that, there's something I want you to do Sam."

Sam arched his brows, sitting at the table. "Yeah sure, Cas. Just name it?"

"I know that Dean claimed to have already done research on Hope. But I need to know if there's anything you might have missed. Which is why I'm asking Sam. Not to criticize your researching skills, Dean- But I think Sam happens to have a little more talent when it comes to such things."

Dean scowled slightly but shrugged it off. "Yeah, I guess you're right about that. But, what exactly are you thinkin he'll find?"

"I don't know. Probably nothing. But you know just as well as I do that it's definitely strange if a demon doesn't have the ability to use its powers on a human."

Both brothers couldn't deny that. It was strange, and normally wouldn't lead to something good.

"I'll get started." Sam said, grabbing his laptop. "It might take me a while, but... I'll see what I can dig up."

"Thank you, Sam." Cas sighed, he wished he didn't feel so dirty about all of this.

"Go get some sleep, dude-" Dean said. "You look like hell."

And he felt like "hell". To think that not two days ago his life was finally happy- He was somewhat normal and could envision a wonderful future. How had it changed so drastically in such a short amount of time?

No, he tried to shake those thoughts away. Just because they were forced to leave their home didn't mean that he still couldn't be happy with Hope. It might not have been a normal average human life he'd be living, but at least he still had her. And somehow, that thought was enough to keep him going.

* * *

Several days passed and Hope was trying her best to adjust to the bunker. Castiel wasn't certain how he could help her because he was trying in his own way to adjust as well. He had grown accustomed and fond of his life back in Idaho. He actually missed his job at the Gas 'n' Sip, he missed coming home to Hopes smiling face, and falling asleep beside her knowing that when he woke the next day it would be the same thing all over again. He missed the normalcy- The simpleness. Even though she was still with him, he still had her, it didn't feel the same. She wasn't happy there- He could tell that much. She wanted to go home, even if she wouldn't admit it.

He wanted to go home too. This place, this bunker- Returning to his old life just felt incredibly wrong. Yes he liked being with his friends again, but still- He couldn't let it fade from his mind that he just wanted to go home. But he tried to remain optimistic, at least in front of Hope, because she was having a difficult time.

But, surprising enough after the first week had gone by Hope seemed to suddenly have a complete turn around. She started acting as she had back home. She started offering to cook their meals and clean up after them, and after Kevin had come down with a cold she even took care of him. Just that small change in her made Cas' attitude shift exponentially. If she could adjust then that meant he very well might be able to as well. After all, it would have been considerably more difficult for her than it would be for him.

There was one matter that still hadn't been resolved just yet- And that was what Sam might have found during his research. Earlier that evening he had spoken to him in private, alerting him that he had found a little something but it would be best to speak of it after Hope had fallen asleep- Which is what Castiel was waiting for. He lied there for the better part of an hour until he was certain she wouldn't wake, and pulled the covers off of him. For a moment he stared down at her as she slept, feeling a slight smile creep across his face. She looked happy, even now. After they had first arrived to the bunker there was always a look of sadness on her face even when she was sleeping. Now, she looked calm and peaceful- And he couldn't help but sigh in relief.

After kissing her cheek gently, he left the room and returned to the library where Sam and Dean were sitting. Dean was sipping at a beer while staring aimlessly at a book in front of him- While Sam had his laptop open in front of him.

"I think it's safe to say that Hope won't overhear us now." Cas said, seeming to jolt the boys out of their own dazes.

"Yeah, ok." Sam pointed to a chair. "First thing's first- I'll just say that there really wasn't much else to find, other than what you already knew. But... I did find one thing."

Cas sat beside him and nodded. "What is it?"

"There's no birth certificate for a Hope Gray. There's no documentation what so ever that she was ever born in Indiana, or at all actually. Her parents George and Fiona, no proof that they ever had a daughter, or any children. But..." He clicked around until turning his laptop so Cas could see. "She grew up with them, yeah... Not proud of this but I posed as a long lost cousin, and to make a long story short, one of her relatives told me that her parents adopted her- Pretty much from out of no where."

"What?" Cas' eyes squinted. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that one second they don't have a kid, and the next second they do. No family members were aware they were even _trying _to adopt a baby and then one day out of the blue, boom, there's a baby. They said it was so fast that they didn't even have any baby supplies. No crib, no clothes, toys, food. Nothing." Sam shared a glance with Dean now before clearing his throat. "And, uh... Well this might freak you out a bit, but... There's one last thing."

Cas nodded, trying to remain calm. If Hope had truly been adopted then he didn't think she knew about it. She never once mentioned it.

"What is it?"

"Hope was born in 1984, right?" Sam went on, and Cas nodded an answer. "I thought it was a long shot but I did a search for any strange nursery fire deaths during that year. One turned up... In Burbank California. A woman was killed in a nursery fire on what would have been her daughters six month birthday. And, yeah that's strange of course, and not to be taken as coincidence, but what's even stranger than that is that the baby went missing that night. The baby wasn't in the nursery with her mother." He let out a sigh. "And, uh... Her Father claimed that they had a strange visit that night- By a man that was pretty much warning them of what was going to happen. They thought he was crazy, called the cops, but before the cops could get there this guy- As the Father claimed, disappeared after hearing the flutter of wings."

Cas suddenly sat up straight, his face falling flat. "An angel? It was an angel?"

Dean shrugged. "No real way of knowin for sure, but- Kinda what it sounds like, huh?"

"And..." Sam went on. "The day after this nursery fire and that baby went missing- The Grays suddenly have a baby."

Cas swallowed a knot his throat. "So, if you're correct, then... Hope was taken by an angel and given to these people? An angel rescued her from what had to have been Azazel?"

Sam nodded with a sigh. "That's what it sounds like... Yeah."

"What was her name? Before she was taken and given to the Grays?" Cas asked now.

"Hope Garson. Hope Elise Garson. Born April 12th 1984."

"But the question is," Dean added. "Is why would an angel actually rescue Hope, but not bother doin that with any of the other kids whose Moms died in nursery fires. What was it about her that was so special?"

That was of course the question that had Castiel on edge.

"So," Sam shrugged awkwardly. "Are you gonna tell her about this, Cas?"

"No-" Cas spat quickly. "Of course not. Why would I?"

"No real reason to." Dean said. "Lucifer's in his cage, Azazel's dead. Whatever plans they might have had for her are done now. She dodged it apparently. Whoever this angel was that rescued her musta had good reason to do it. She was probably meant to be somethin pretty big during and after the apocalypse."

But that still didn't make Castiel feel much better. Regardless if Lucifer was in his cage, if Azazel was dead and the apocalypse was over and done with- Hope was rescued by an Angel. Not executed, which would be normal protocol, but rescued and placed with an adoptive family. Why? He desperately wanted to know why but would have no way of doing that. The angels on earth wanted him dead, there was no one else to give him such information. If he could find the angel responsible for rescuing her so long ago then maybe he'd have answers, but- There would be no way of finding out without risking hers and his life.


End file.
